Author: Ken Blanchard

The Golden Rule

/ Ken Blanchard / 4 Comments

I just heard a very interesting theory about the Golden Rule, which is in almost every faith–you know, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It’s about loving your neighbor as much as you love yourself. This theory was that you can’t really love your neighbor if you don’t love yourself. If you don’t feel positive about yourself, then it’s pretty hard for you to reach out and be positive to other people.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” There was a story about a woman who journeyed for miles with her son to have an audience with Gandhi. She said, “Would you help my son? He eats too much sugar.” And Gandhi told her to come back in a week. She couldn’t quite understand that, but they trekked all the way home and came back the next week. They then sat with Gandhi and he told her son to stop eating so much sugar. She said, “Why couldn’t you have told him that a week ago?” And Gandhi said, “Because I was eating too much sugar myself at that time.”  Ha!

The other thing that’s really interesting is that if you feel good about yourself, it makes other people around you feel good. And if they feel good, they send those vibes back to you and they kind of multiply. Norman Vincent Peale said, “Every day you have a choice. You can feel good about yourself or you can feel lousy. Why would you want to choose the latter?”  If you feel good about yourself, then you’re able to reach out and help others. Helping others is about happiness. The more we reach out and help other people, the happier we get. In fact, most of the time helping other people makes you feel better than if you were doing something for yourself.

So take care of yourself. If you do that, then you can take care of other people. It all starts at home. Confucius said, “It’s self, family, neighborhood, state.” If you want to create a great nation, a great state, you’ve got to start with yourself. So when you’re discouraged, remember that the change we want to see in the world has to begin with ourselves. Be good to yourself.

What’s Most Important Now?

/ Ken Blanchard / 3 Comments

Jim Steffen was a graduate student of ours at U. Mass. He wrote a book called Aligned Thinking and has been helping us work through some of his way of thinking. The most important concept Jim talks about is MIN—which is “Most Important Now.” He says that the way you really enjoy life the most is to decide:  What am I going to do right now? What is this hour about? How can I focus my energy so what I’m doing right now is the most important thing I can do, so I’m not in the midst of one thing and thinking about doing something else? You know, my mind is all over the place. I know a lot of us like to multitask and all those kinds of things. But it’s great if you can get in the MIN attitude and think, okay, I’m going into this particular meeting. Where does this fit into my life? What am I trying to do? How can I get into the mindset that this is the most important moment right now, and really focus in on it? It’s the same way with people. Try to just focus in on people for three or four minutes and just be there for them. This is the most important thing right now – this is a MIN relationship. So what I’m trying to do, first thing in the morning, is to look at the day and see how I can plan what I’m supposed to be doing and how I can get my mind set on the most important thing I ought to do. It’s a wonderful little concept and thought about focus in life. So I thought I’d throw it out for you today.

Don’t be a Passive Victim

/ Ken Blanchard / 6 Comments

There is a Positive Psychology course that Margie and I have been taking that is really interesting. We ran into a guy named Nathaniel Branden, who wrote about the six pillars of self-confidence. His big theme is nobody’s coming. If you are thinking about someone who is going to get you out of a situation, and you’re waiting for them to take all the action, the reality is that people can do things, but nobody is really coming. What are you going to do?  One thing that’s interesting is the difference between passive victims—people who are in a situation and immediately go to self-pity—“This is really tough.” Then they want to point fingers and blame other people. This leads to frustration, and eventually anger, and things kind of spiral down that way. This is the passive victim that somehow thinks their fate is in somebody else’s hands, versus the active agent who takes action—“Okay, this is tough, but what am I going to do? What can I do in my area? What ideas do I have?”  They are willing to take responsibility, which is being able to respond, and give suggestions that will help. They have a feeling of confidence—“Somehow we’re going to make it through this thing together.” This leads to hope and optimism. We all need to take action—what can we do to help?  Let’s work on responsibility. I have confidence and hope. What is it that makes some people be able to pull out of tough times? It’s all about resiliency. So remember—we’re all responsible somewhat for the condition we’re in. So be an active agent, not a passive victim. Life is a very special occasion. Don’t miss it with a lot of negative energy.

Live Life in the Present

/ Ken Blanchard / 12 Comments

Have you ever noticed how you can look forward to something for so long, and then all of a sudden it’s upon you, and then it’s gone? I think that should teach us that life is to be lived one day at a time, and in the present. My friend Spencer Johnson had a great message years ago in his book The Precious Present. He said that we need to learn from the past, but not live there. Plan the future, but don’t live there. Because we are at our happiest when we’re living life in the present – one day at a time. So if you look forward to something for a long time, and then it’s gone, now you’re back to your regular life – what are you going to do about that? It’s interesting and powerful to recognize that life should be lived in the present. Time flies. We’re here for such a short period of time. So enjoy every single day. And reach out and tell someone you love them and you care about them, because when all is said and done, as I’ve said many times, the only thing that counts is who you love and who loves you.

Don’t be Fascinated by Your Own Words

/ Ken Blanchard / 9 Comments

I’ve written previously about Charles Handy, a friend of mine who’s a great management thinker from England. During one of his presentations he said, “Most of you are not going to remember much what I say in this session, but I will remember everything. The person who learns the most is the one who speaks the most.” I think that’s really a powerful thing. In the course that Margie and I teach for the Master of Science in Executive Leadership program at USD, sometimes there’s a complaint that they would love to hear more from us and our thinking. We try to integrate some of that, but the course is really about the students and their thinking and their learning to communicate their leadership point of view. It’s really so reinforcing to watch people where the real learning is happening. Because they are doing the talking. Very often we get fascinated by our own words; even as we try to teach our kids and other people things we think they ought to learn. If we realized that if we listen more than we speak, probably more learning would take place in the person we are trying to teach. Ha! That’s kind of a relearning for today—the person who speaks the most probably learns the most. The rest are going to forget what you have to say anyway. So let other people speak up. Facilitate their thinking through issues. Don’t always be the problem solver. Have a wonderful day. Life is a very special occasion when you let other people speak.