relationships

Leaders Must Extend Trust First

/ Ken Blanchard

Trust is essential for any healthy relationship. Warren Buffet once likened trust to the air we breathe. “When it is present,” he said, “nobody really notices. But when it’s absent, everybody notices.”

In a working relationship, it’s up to you as a leader to make the first move to extend trust. This often comes as a surprise to many leaders, who assume they are automatically trusted by others because of their position or title. In fact, the opposite may be true. Because you have more position power, people may be wary of you. That’s why it’s so important that leaders extend trust first.

What It Looks Like to Extend Trust to Your People

One of my favorite stories about extending trust to your people comes from Horst Schultze, one of the founders of the Ritz-Carlton Hotels. After extensive training, Horst’s employees were given a $2,000 discretionary fund that they could use to solve a problem without checking with anyone. Now that’s extending trust!

One day, a businessman who was staying at one of the Ritz-Carlton properties in Atlanta had to fly to Hawaii, because the next day at 1:00 p.m. he was making a major speech to his international company. He was a little disorganized as he was leaving. On his way to the airport, he discovered that he’d left behind his laptop computer, which contained all the PowerPoints he needed for his presentation. He tried to change his flights, but he couldn’t. So he called the Ritz-Carlton and said, “This is the room  I  was  in,  and  this  is  where  my  computer  was.  Have Housekeeping get it and overnight it to me. They have to guarantee delivery by ten tomorrow morning, because I need it for my one o’clock speech.”

The next day Horst was wandering around the hotel, as he often did. When he got to Housekeeping he said, “Where’s Mary?” Her coworkers said, “She’s in Hawaii.” He said, “Hawaii? What’s she doing there?”

He was told, “A guest left his computer in his room that he needed for a speech today at one o’clock—and Mary doesn’t trust overnight carrier services.” Now you might think that Mary went for a vacation, but she came back on the next plane. And what do you think was waiting for her? A letter of commendation from Horst and high fives around the hotel.

Use Discretion, Then Take a Risk

I don’t mean to suggest that leaders should blindly trust everyone. That would be foolish. Leaders need to assess an individual’s trustworthiness before they extend trust. For example, Mary, the Ritz-Carlton employee, was trustworthy because she had completed her training and orientation and was known to be reliable.

Think of a risky situation you are facing where you may be hesitant to trust someone.

  • What about the person or situation gives you confidence to extend trust?
  • What gives you cause for concern?
  • How you can extend trust while also addressing your areas of concern?

The next step is to take the risk to extend trust. You don’t need trust if there’s nothing at risk. That’s called certainty, a sure thing, a guarantee. But if there is risk—if there is a chance you might get burned extending your faith in someone else—that’s when you need to extend trust.

Trust doesn’t happen by accident. For trust to develop in a relationship, one party has to make the decision to extend trust in the hope it will be reciprocated. Ernest Hemingway summed this up simply yet eloquently when he said, “The way to make people trustworthy is to trust them.” In other words, while you can use discretion, you won’t really know whether you can trust someone until you make the first move.

At some point you, as a leader, must take a risk by extending trust and turning over responsibility to your followers. First, be certain they are clear on the goal. Make sure they have the right resources, skills, and training to do a good job—and then let them do it.

By extending trust first, you demonstrate respect and create goodwill. Soon your people will begin emulating your behavior by extending trust and respect to others. In a workplace where trust is the norm, people collaborate more, produce better results, and have more fun.

To learn more about building trust and other powerful leadership practices, pick up a copy of my new book with trust expert Randy Conley, The Simple Truths of Leadership Playbook. And please join us for a free webinar, Simple Truths of Leadership: From Intention to Action on Wednesday, February 21, 7:00 AM PST. Register now at https://event.on24.com/wcc/r/4444232/962C05294BC6C39A0C1D43B595A0D7AB.

Let’s Catch People Doing Something Right in 2024

/ Ken Blanchard

Catching people doing things right and praising them is a timeless principle I learned and began practicing and teaching years ago. It is a powerful tool for bringing out the best in others. So instead of making a personal New Year’s resolution this year, I want to make one to share with leaders everywhere: Make 2024 “The Year of Catching People Doing Something Right.”

I don’t want this resolution to pertain solely to our direct reports, though. Let’s also catch our peers doing something right. Let’s catch our bosses doing something right. Let’s catch our partners, kids, relatives, and friends doing something right. And let’s catch ourselves doing something right!

As an example of how to praise someone for doing things right, here are the basics of the One Minute Praising from my bestselling book with Spencer Johnson, The One Minute Manager.

  1. Praise someone as soon as possible after you see praiseworthy behavior.
  2. In very specific terms, tell the person what they did right.
  3. Relate their good behavior to the broader picture by telling them how it made you feel.
  4. Now pause briefly to give the person a chance to feel good about what they did.
  5. Encourage the person to keep up the positive behavior.

This is a concept that still holds true—in fact, it’s woven into all of our company’s training programs and most of my 70 published books. When you catch somebody doing something right—or approximately right—praise them.

Catch your people

To great leaders, acknowledging people’s efforts and encouraging their progress is common sense. These leader behaviors set up a positive cycle: Their praise helps people feel good about themselves, people who feel good about themselves produce good results, and people who produce good results feel good about themselves.

Think about a time when you were proud of something you did, but nobody seemed to notice. How did it make you feel? Now think about a time when you did something well and were praised or otherwise recognized for it. How did you feel then? What was the difference between the two?

Note: a One Minute Praising is not the same as flattery. It’s a statement that builds trust and improves communication because it’s based on facts and data. The phrase “nice job” isn’t specific enough to build rapport. But if a leader says, “William, I appreciate your sending me your weekly report on time. It provided accurate information and allowed me to meet my deadlines. Keep up the great work,” it clearly states the leader’s appreciation, which will boost William’s morale and help him realize he is an important member of the team. Catching people doing things right provides satisfaction and motivates good performance.

Catch your coworkers

Encourage your teammates to catch each other doing things right and praise each other’s progress. This kind of camaraderie can go a long way toward building trust among peers, which helps everyone feel good about their job. People never tire of sincere praise. It’s good for motivation, morale, and momentum.

Catch your boss

When was the last time you praised your boss? Even if you are good at praising direct reports and coworkers, you may have to think long and hard to remember the last time you recognized the efforts of your manager.

It’s easy for people to picture their leader getting positive feedback from their own bosses. But think about how meaningful it would be for your manager to hear you say, “By the way, thanks for letting our team know about the exciting new client we just landed. It felt great to get this news directly from you rather than reading it in an all-company email.” Depending on your relationship, it could also be appropriate to give your boss a compliment on a blog post they wrote or on their caring leadership style.

Catch your family

This principle can also help relationships flourish at home. It’s important to express positive feelings we have about our family members and friends, so that those relationships stay healthy. Catch your partner, your kids, or your parents, siblings, or friends doing things right on a regular basis. Don’t wait for the perfect moment—do it as soon as you see or hear about something good that they have said or done, or even when you have a positive thought about that person.

For example, if your school-aged child makes his bed or does his homework without being asked, let him know right away that you notice and appreciate his efforts. Call and congratulate your nephew on his new job. Or send a card to thank a friend for helping you through a tough time.

Catch Yourself

Did you make a New Year’s resolution this year? If not, you have company. A new YouGov poll shows only 34% of adults in the US made a resolution for 2024. Why? Because people believe New Year’s resolutions fail more than they succeed. They grade themselves on a pass/fail basis—there’s no in-between.

But many people who think that a previous year’s resolution failed may, in fact, have made great progress in that area of their life during the year even if they didn’t technically achieve the original goal they had set.

Remember, in The One Minute Manager, Spencer Johnson and I state that a praising can be given not only when you catch someone (including yourself) doing something right, but alsowhen you catch someone doing something approximately right. So if you stick to your resolution well enough to make key improvements in that space, that’s praiseworthy in my book! Now put your right hand on your left shoulder and your left hand on your right shoulder and give yourself a hug.

Well done! Bring on the new year!

Catch everyone!

Good feelings generated from catching people doing things right can be habit-forming. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself passing along praise to your next-door neighbor, your yoga teacher, your postal carrier, or the cashier or bagger at the grocery store.

Good thoughts not communicated are meaningless. But positive praise creates a significant energy boost in both the giver and the receiver. So let’s all catch people doing something right in 2024!

Are You Merely Interested in Being a Trusted Servant Leader—or Are You Committed?

/ Ken Blanchard

Most of us can remember a time when we had every intention of accomplishing a specific goal, but didn’t follow through. Perhaps we were beginning to get serious about joining a group, learning a skill, or improving ourselves in some way—but when it came time to act on the idea, for some reason we lost interest.

My good friend Art Turock taught me that this behavior usually is the result of not knowing the difference between interest and commitment. We were very interested in the idea, but not committed enough to put it into action. We didn’t keep our commitment to our commitment.

Through the years I’ve had all kinds of people tell me they have learned a lot from my books. Of course, I am always grateful to hear that. But when I ask leaders how they have applied some of the Simple Truths they’ve learned from me, many can’t come up with an example. It surprises me how some people can read a book, and another book, and then another without actually using anything they are learning from those books. They are interested in learning about leadership, but not committed to putting their learning into action. I think that’s a shame. After all, effective leadership is about employing commonsense leadership principles that will help your people and your organization thrive.

So how can commonsense leadership become common practice?

In an effort to resolve this age-old question, in 2022 my coauthor Randy Conley and I published Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways to Be a Servant Leader and Build Trust. We wanted to show leaders how to incorporate simple but essential principles into their leadership styles. We were delighted when we started hearing stories from readers telling us about the positive differences the book was making in their leadership. What a joy to realize that leaders everywhere were beginning to not only commit to our Simple Truths of servant leadership and trust in principle, but also put them into action at work.

Feeling the need to help leaders embed the information even more deeply, Randy and I decided to take the next step. The result is Simple Truths of Leadership Playbook: A 52-Week Game Plan for Becoming a Trusted Servant Leader. It’s a structured workbook that allows leaders to craft their approach to leadership one week at a time. When a leader reflects on each of the 52 Simple Truths, responds to the prompts in their own words, and does the activities, that’s half the work. The other half is the call to action—the “Try it This Week” section—which is all about the leader implementing the lessons into their leadership.

Effective leaders are committed to learning—and the best leaders apply what they learn to their leadership. Any leader who reads Simple Truths of Leadership Playbook can acquire the practical skills and experience they need to put commonsense leadership into practice and reach their goal of becoming a trusted servant leader. Now that’s what I call keeping your commitment to your commitment!

Great Leadership Starts with Self-Awareness

/ Ken Blanchard

Self-awareness is among the top leadership skills required from future leaders, according to Blanchard’s 2023 Trends Report. Yet the lack of it is one of the biggest challenges leaders face as they step into increasingly higher management roles. Not only is self-awareness a prerequisite for effective leadership, it’s also essential for effective human interaction of any kind.

The best leaders have a high degree of self-awareness. These leaders understand themselves and their needs, strengths, weaknesses, and temperament. They are aware of their thoughts, feelings, and personal motivators. They know how their behavior affects people around them and how to model trusting servant leadership for their team.

Self-aware leaders have a special kind of perspective on leadership. Being grounded in knowledge about themselves helps them be more mindful of the people, experiences, and values that have made them who they are—as both a person and a leader.

How’s Your Ego?

Leaders who lack self-awareness often have egos that they allow to go unchecked, which slowly but surely erodes their ability to lead. These leaders see themselves as the center of the universe. They put their own agenda, safety, status, and gratification ahead of the people they lead—the people most likely to be affected by the leader’s misguided thoughts and actions.

As a leader, if your self-worth is tied up in your achievements and what others think of you, it becomes increasingly difficult for you to maintain a healthy self-image. Why? Because your performance—like everyone’s—varies from day to day, and human judgment is fickle. So your self-worth is up for grabs on a daily basis. It’s easy to get caught between false pride and fear—two ways the human ego can be an obstacle to success.

  • Leaders with false pride are generally seen as controlling. They have a high need for power even when they don’t know what they are doing. They insist they are right even when it’s clear to everyone else that they are wrong.
  • Leaders driven by fear are generally characterized as do-nothing bosses. Their fear of making a mistake and other insecurities keep them from taking action when they should. They are seldom around—and when they are, they avoid conflict and aren’t very helpful.

A lack of self-awareness combined with an overactive ego can topple an otherwise great leader. Don’t let your ego keep you from being your best self or bringing out the best in others.

Can You Be Trusted as a Leader?

Effective leadership starts on the inside. To be a truly trustworthy leader, you must first possess a strong sense of self-awareness by knowing yourself and what you need to be successful.

To help you increase your self-awareness as a leader, we’ve developed an assessment leaders can use to gauge their trustworthiness in the four elements of trust found in our ABCD model:

  • Able: Do you demonstrate competence in your role?
  • Believable: Do you demonstrate how to act with integrity?
  • Connected: Do you demonstrate that you care about others?
  • Dependable: Do you demonstrate reliability?

To gain even more self-awareness, we encourage you to have each of your team members fill out the same assessment, rating you on your trustworthiness. Not every leader is vulnerable enough to ask their people to assess them as a trustworthy leader—but I’ve done it, and I found it to be a humbling, yet enlightening experience!

Important note: make sure you are ready for what you may learn. When you invite people to discuss these potentially sensitive areas, you must be ready to listen. Remember that feedback is a gift. There are only two things a leader should say when they receive feedback—either “Thank you” or “Tell me more.”

Don’t worry—it’s never a bad thing to learn something new about yourself as a leader. Take a tip from the One Minute Manager: If you find out you are doing something right, give yourself a One Minute Praising. And if you discover you are off track in an area, give yourself a One Minute Redirect and get back on the right track.

The more self-aware you are, the better you will be able to serve, care for, and lead your people, which builds trust—and awareness—in every direction. Being self-aware, keeping your ego in check, and learning how to be more trustworthy are all parts of leading at a higher level.

Have a Summer Attitude at Work and at Home

/ Ken Blanchard

Summer’s here! Kids are out of school, college students have time off or summer jobs, and adults—well, for many adults, all that really changes during the summer is the weather. If we work outside the home we get up every day and commute to our jobs, and if we work from home we look out the window at the sun shining while we are working. It’s easy to start feeling kind of stuck in a rut.

But here’s something we all have the ability to change right now: our attitude. What if we decided to have a “summer attitude” this time of year? I’m not talking about shirking our regular duties at work or at home; I’m talking about shifting our daily practices just a bit toward appreciation of the season. Here are a few examples.

Take time to recharge yourself

  • Get up a little earlier and enter your day slowly. What this means will vary from person to person. Meditate, pray, write in a journal, do some stretches or yoga—whatever works for you. If you don’t have a regular morning routine, just go for a walk around the block. Breathe deeply and feel the fresh morning air in your lungs. Look around and notice small things you may not have thought about for a while—hummingbirds, trees blossoming, puffy clouds. If you meet people along the way, acknowledge them with a smile and a “hello”—that could be all it takes to lift your mood (and theirs) for the day.
  • Make plans to take a break from the ordinary. Having something to look forward to is a great mood lifter any time of year. This could be as simple as a short drive to visit a friend or relative you haven’t seen in a while. It could be a day trip to an interesting destination or maybe a weekend escape with your significant other. Remember, anticipation is part of the fun!
  • Use your vacation or PTO days. I can’t say this often enough: if you have paid days off piling up, use them—that’s what they are for! Whether it’s a long-awaited trip or a staycation in your back yard, you will be a better in every way if you allow yourself to take time away from work to relax, refresh, and recharge.

Have More Fun at Work and at Home

  • If you are a leader at any level, either remote or in the workplace, you set the tone for your team’s work environment. I always tell people to take their work seriously but themselves lightly. It’s a great way to maintain a balanced perspective, stay open to new ideas, and avoid burnout.
  • There’s an old saying: “Laughter is the best medicine.” Keep your own sense of humor at the ready—a good laugh can be like a pressure valve when things get stressful. I find it’s a preferred alternative to ulcers or migraines.
  • Celebrate everything—individual and team goal achievements and victories, work anniversaries, birthdays, promotions, retirements, and new babies. Celebrations create cohesive teams and build trust. Celebrating small victories or big occasions at home with family or friends enriches relationships and demonstrates appreciation for each other.
  • I thought up a different kind of perspective-setting technique when our children were growing up. I noticed whenever we were at the park or the zoo I would see parents yelling at their kids for running around, just being kids. Then it struck me: it’s crazy to take your children somewhere you could have fun together and then scold them for having fun. I decided to reframe my attitude so that we all could have fun. I dubbed it my “zoo mentality.” After that, when the kids started acting silly or chasing each other, I was more inclined to join in the fun myself. I have been known to use this technique when attending company meetings. 😊

So keep your options open this summer. Get creative at home and at work in finding ways you can lighten your outlook, take well deserved breaks, appreciate the people around you, and have fun. Developing a summer attitude can be the difference between feeling run down and feeling renewed!