Trust

Listening: An Essential Skill for New Managers

/ Ken Blanchard / 1 Comment

Looking over the comments from my last post, I am reminded that the key to being an effective manager is building good relationships. And the key to good relationships is communication. Management takes place mostly through conversations. Several of you mentioned the challenge of having conversations with direct reports who were once your peers.

In our new First-time Manager training program, we address many common challenges people face when they step into a leadership role. One of our main focus areas is basic communication skills that can help improve conversations and make managing people a little less daunting. When I think about something that gets in the way of effective conversations, I think about the importance of listening.

Listening? How hard can that be? Actually, listening can be difficult for new managers who feel as if they have something to prove or they are supposed to have all the answers. I encourage new managers to listen with the intent of understanding and being influenced by the other person.

A one-on-one conversation with a direct report is a great time to practice the skill of mindfulness. First, get rid of distractions—close the door and put away cell phones. Then, focus on understanding what the other person is saying. Ask questions to gain insight about the situation, and try to avoid judgment. Be present with them as they are speaking—and resist the urge to formulate your next comment before they finish. My son, Scott, says, “Listen more than you talk. Listen more than is comfortable. Listen more than you already do.”

It’s also important to listen for what is not being said. Ask open-ended questions to draw the person out and get them to clarify certain points. This is best handled by asking how and what questions instead of why questions. It is a natural tendency to ask why questions, but they can make a person feel criticized or challenged. Asking a how or what question helps build trust and improve the dialogue. For example, if you saw your direct report struggling with a project, instead of asking, “Why did you do it that way?” you might ask, “What would you do differently if you had that project to do again?” or, “How would you handle that project now with what you have learned?” Notice how one word can change the entire tone and intention of the conversation!

I saw a great quote the other day from author Sue Patton Thoele, “Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.” I think this really captures how important listening can be both on a personal and professional level. Just imagine how rewarding it would be for a new manager and a direct report to feel like their spirits have expanded. I think it would go a long way toward developing trusting, authentic relationships that lead to highly engaged employees and stimulating work environments.

I’m interested to hear more about challenges you’ve seen new managers face. Please share them in the comments section below so I can address them in my next post. Together, we can help new managers get off to a great start in their new role!

Improve Collaboration with a Safe and Trusting Culture

/ Ken Blanchard

As a leader, do you create a safe and trusting environment where your people can express concerns and share information freely? That might be a difficult question for some of you to answer. In our new book, Collaboration Begins With You: Be a Silo Buster, my coauthors Jane Ripley and Eunice Parisi-Carew and I describe how to build trust and take responsibility for creating a culture of collaboration.

In the previous post I introduced the UNITE acronym to describe the five elements that every person must adopt to make collaboration a part of the corporate culture. We encourage everyone to Utilize differences; Nurture safety and trust; Involve others in crafting a clear purpose, values, and goals; Talk openly; and Empower themselves and others. I wrote about Utilizing differences in the last post and this time I want to share more about how to Nurture safety and trust.

The best way to start is by being a role model for the behavior you want to see in others. Share your own knowledge openly and encourage others to speak freely without fear of judgment. Welcome people’s ideas and truly give them consideration before making a decision. Give and receive feedback without judgment and be accessible, authentic, and dependable.

To build trust with your team, view mistakes and failures as learning opportunities and discuss them openly. If you punish people for making mistakes, they will learn quickly to cover them up and you’ll miss important opportunities to avoid future mishaps. I’ve found that some of the greatest learning moments happen when mistakes are shared and discussed. Encouraging these kinds of discussions will lead to smoother processes, improved communication, and innovative thinking.

To help people feel safe in their working environment, be transparent when making decisions. Make sure people know their role and what a good job looks like, and give them freedom to experiment. If people know what is expected of them and the boundaries they can operate in, they will flourish.

Rate yourself as a leader who Nurtures safety and trust by asking yourself these questions.

  1. Do I encourage people to speak their mind?
  2. Do I consider all ideas before decisions are made?
  3. Do I share knowledge freely?
  4. Do I view mistakes as learning opportunities?
  5. Am I clear with others about what I expect?

If you answered yes to most of the questions, you probably have created a safe and trusting environment for your people. But pay attention to where you answered no so that you can continue to build a strong culture of collaboration, because as the book title says—collaboration begins with you.

Collaboration Begins with You Book coverTo learn more about Collaboration Begins With You: Be a Silo Buster, visit the book homepage where you can download the first chapter.

Breaking Down Silos for a Stronger Organization

/ Ken Blanchard

It’s no secret that collaboration creates high performing teams and organizations, yet leaders in some companies still struggle to get people to work together instead of protecting their silos. In our new book Collaboration Begins with You: Be a Silo Buster, my coauthors Jane Ripley, Eunice Parisi-Carew, and I describe how you can break down silos and bring people together to achieve fabulous results at every level in your organization.

As the title suggests, we believe that collaboration is the responsibility of every single person. Although it’s up to the leader to declare and introduce a culture of collaboration, it is up to each individual to promote and preserve it.

Silos exist when people who are more interested in organizational hierarchy want to protect resources and information as sources of power. But in today’s diverse, global environment, collaboration is the key to communication, innovation, and success. We must all be silo busters.

Establishing a culture of collaboration isn’t an overnight fix—it requires a completely new mindset. We call it the inside-out mindset of Heart, Head, and Hands. The Heart aspect refers to who you really are as a collaborator—your intentions and character. The Head aspect is about your beliefs and attitudes about collaboration. The Hands aspect relates to what you do—your actions and behaviors. People with this mindset understand and live by the statement None of us is as smart as all of us.

From this inside-out mindset, five factors are generated that help build a strong culture of collaboration. We created the UNITE acronym to make these factors easier to remember. Everyone must be vigilant about Utilizing differences; Nurturing safety and trust; Involving others in crafting a clear purpose, values, and goals; Talking openly; and Empowering themselves and others.

I’ll explain these concepts in detail in future posts. In the meantime, remember that collaboration begins with you—and it can begin today!

Editor’s Note: Collaboration Begins with You: Be a Silo Buster will be released October 12. Place your pre-order at www.Amazon.com.

 

We Need to Talk: A 5-Step Process for Leaders

/ Ken Blanchard / 1 Comment

man wearing a suit sitting in a table with clasped handsHave you ever heard the words, “we need to talk” and not felt a little uncomfortable?

In a fast-paced work environment, communication challenges come up every day.  It’s natural for conflict to arise and disagreement to occur, so leaders need the skills to successfully manage emotionally charged conversations and help resolve issues between team members.

To help improve their skills in dealing with challenging conversations, Eryn Kalish, the co-creator of our Challenging Conversations program teaches leaders how to speak up without alienating the other person and how to listen even if they are “triggered” by what they are hearing.

The concepts are easily understandable, explains Kalish, but it is something that’s challenging emotionally to practice. For leaders just getting started, there are five skills represented by the acronym SPEAK that Kalish recommends as a way of becoming comfortable with, and open to, others’ feelings.

S. Stating concerns directly. Speak up in a way that doesn’t alienate other people. Understand how to get at the essence of what’s important.

P. Probing for more information to gain a deeper understanding. Learn how to get more information from someone who might be hesitant to talk. Learn how to gently, but firmly, probe and get somebody to speak out when it is going to serve them and the situation.

E. Engaging others through whole-hearted listening. Be able to listen even when it is uncomfortable. Learn how to work with your reactions so that you can focus and understand what the other person is saying.

A. Attending to body language. Pay attention to body language and be able to spot discrepancies between what you are hearing and what you are seeing. How many times have you been sitting in a meeting when somebody said everything was fine but his or her body language was saying that it is clearly not? Avoid the temptation to say, “Oh, good, everything is ok. Let’s move on.”

K. Keeping forward focused, but only when everybody is ready to move forward. This can be a challenge for leaders with a natural bias for action. Learn to resist the urge to move forward prematurely. In challenging conversations the real issues often don’t come to light at first.

Perhaps the most important thing about using a process like this is teaching a common language and approach that can be used by everyone in your company. Remember to address the issues directly—ignoring them will only make things worse. But using the SPEAK approach will improve communication, trust, and employee engagement. I encourage you to try it out soon to see the positive impact it will have.

Leaders: Are You as Good a Listener as You Think You Are?

/ Ken Blanchard / 5 Comments

girl holds the hand of a child listening to ear on gray backWhen I ask people to talk about the best boss they ever had, they always mention one quality—listening. The best leaders are good listeners. Our research shows that listening is a critical skill for developing people, building trust, and creating a meaningful connection. But be careful—we’ve also found that it’s common for direct reports to score their managers lower in listening skills than the managers score themselves. I’ve said many times that God gave us two ears and one mouth because he wanted us to listen more than we talk. Let me explain some of the fundamentals of effective listening in case you may want to sharpen your skills.

Pay Attention to Nonverbal Behaviors. Listen with your eyes as well as your ears—watch a person’s facial, eye, and body movements in addition to the tone of their voice. Be aware of clues that their silent behaviors provide while at the same time being sensitive to your own nonverbal signals. For example: are you encouraging someone to continue with a conversation, or silently telling them to stop?

Ask Questions. This is not about interrogation or control. Use well thought out questions to seek information, opinions, or ideas that will help you understand the person while helping them feel heard. The best leaders ask open-ended questions to encourage communication, clarifying questions to check for understanding, and prompting questions to encourage deeper thinking.

Reflect Feelings. Acknowledge any emotions being expressed by the person and share your understanding by restating the person’s feelings back to them in a nonjudgmental way. This will help demonstrate that you not only understand their message but also empathize with their feelings.

Paraphrase. Restate in your own words what was said to demonstrate that you heard what the speaker was saying. Paraphrasing is useful to confirm that you understand what your team member was saying.

Summarize. State in a nutshell what was said over the entire conversation. The exact words are not as important as clearly capturing the main points and sequence of what was said. This is where you want to reflect the speaker’s conclusion back to them to indicate that you understand.

As you can see, effective listening is about focusing on what the other person is saying and then demonstrating that you understand and value their thoughts. Developing listening skills takes an investment of time but is the best way to build trusting relationships with the people you lead. Using these skills should get you off to a good start.