Trust

Why Catching People Doing Things Right Is the Best Way to Lead

/ Ken Blanchard

Catch People Doing Things Right, Martha Lawrence’s new biography about my life, is coming out on October 21. That might seem like an odd title for a biography, but I can see why Martha chose it.

I’ve often said that if I could hold on to only one of the leadership lessons I’ve taught over the years, it would be to catch people doing things right. Why? Because a person who works hard needs positive feedback for their efforts. Praise is inherently motivating and only takes a moment—yet it can make all the difference in how the worker feels about their day, their job, their leader, and their organization.

I once asked a young woman if she liked her boss. She said, “She’s okay. She seems to think I’m doing a good job.”

“How can you tell?” I asked.

“Well, she hasn’t yelled at me lately,” she said. Sadly, I wasn’t surprised to hear her response.

Poor Leaders Catch People Doing Things Wrong

In the past I’ve said to groups of people, “How many of you are sick and tired of all the praisings you get at work?” I would always get the same response—laughter. It’s sad how much time managers spend pointing out what’s wrong with people’s performance instead of catching them doing things right.

When I began studying leadership in the 1960s, very few people saw their manager as a friend or colleague. Bosses were widely regarded as people whose job it was to catch their workers doing things wrong. A leader would evaluate someone’s performance, reprimand them, demand they improve, and disappear until it happened again. When people heard the boss had a meeting scheduled, they knew they must be getting in trouble because that’s the only time the boss would ever show up.

To me, this sounded like the opposite of a motivational environment. I couldn’t help but think: What if things were reversed? What if the boss noticed people doing things right, praised their progress, and cheered them on?

Great Leaders Catch People Doing Things Right

Great leaders who want to encourage and motivate their people set up a positive cycle:

  1. A great leader catches someone doing something right and praises them.
  2. The leader’s praise helps the person feel good about themselves.
  3. People who feel good about themselves produce good results.
  4. A great leader notices when people produce good results.   
  5. See #1.

Think about a time when you were proud of something you did but nobody seemed to notice. How did you feel? Now think about a time when you did something well and were praised or otherwise recognized for it. How did you feel then? What was the difference between the two?

People never tire of being told they’re doing good work. It’s good for morale and engagement, and it leads to confident, empowered employees.

How to Give a One Minute Praising

One Minute Praisings—the Second Secret of The One Minute Manager—are a key component of catching people doing things right. An effective One Minute Praising reinforces the behaviors that move people closer to their goals. And it only takes one minute, if you follow these six steps:

  1. Praise someone as soon as you see or hear about praiseworthy behavior or work. Don’t store up compliments for later; unspoken praise is meaningless.
  2. In very clear terms, tell the person what they did right and be specific.
  3. Say how good you feel about what they did and how it helps others and/or the organization. Relate their good behavior to the broader picture.
  4. Once you’ve given the praising, pause to let the message sink in and to give the person a chance to feel good about what they did.
  5. Let the person know you would like to see more of the same behavior.
  6. Make it clear you have confidence in them and you support their success.

As an example, an effective manager could say, “George, I appreciate your sending me your weekly report on time. It provided accurate information and allowed me to meet my deadlines. Keep up the great work!” This praising clearly states the manager’s appreciation, which boosts George’s morale and helps him realize he is an important member of the team.

Extra Hints to Remember

The concept of catching people doing things right can work in many scenarios.

  • When was the last time you caught your boss doing something right? Just because someone is at a higher level doesn’t mean they can’t use some encouragement.
  • Express your appreciation to family and friends often. Acknowledging how much you care helps keep these important relationships close, healthy, and moving in a positive direction.
  • Want a self-esteem boost? Reflect on your own achievements and celebrate your wins! It will motivate you to set new goals for yourself.

Also, don’t wait until someone does something exactly right to praise them. Remember that exactly right behavior is made up of a series of approximately right behaviors. Praising someone’s progress encourages them and lets them know they’re going in the right direction. People shouldn’t have to be perfect to earn a little praise.

I believe most leaders genuinely want to manage people well, but many fall short of this goal. Leaders who catch people doing things right create a work environment where people are engaged and committed to doing a good job. Don’t forget that it only takes a minute to praise someone for a job well done. It could be the most important minute of their day—and yours.

Empathy and Accountability—an Unlikely but Vital Combination

/ Ken Blanchard

As a leader, I learned long ago that most people are capable of much more than their manager gives them credit for. If you are a leader who thinks this way, you probably treat your team members well—the way you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes. As you get to know each individual, you may even start to feel that you understand how they think and feel about different things. You are an empathetic leader.

When a leader has empathy for their direct reports, does it mean they will let everyone do their job in whatever way they choose? Of course not. It is the leader’s responsibility to set boundaries by keeping people accountable for their goal achievement, growth, and behavior. In other words, the best leaders not only lead with empathy, they also hold their people accountable. Both elements are critical for success in today’s organizations.

If this sounds familiar, it might be because you’ve heard me say “Servant leadership is the best way to achieve both great relationships and great results.” Being empathetic while instilling accountability in people are leadership skills that can have the same positive outcome. Leaders must hold people accountable for achieving goals, but those who focus only on results will lose their people. Successful leaders are able to create an empathetic environment where people feel seen and heard and also want to perform at a high level.

A key part of leading with empathy is being a good listener. People appreciate a manager who cares about them and what they think. One way for managers to build meaningful connections with their people is to schedule one-on-one meetings where the direct report sets the agenda. There’s no better way to get to know team members as individuals than to set aside time—just 20 to 30 minutes every other week—to chat about anything they wish. It’s a unique opportunity for a manager and a direct report to speak openly with one another without interference or judgment.

When you begin the meeting, eliminate distractions so that you will be present and focused on your team member. Demonstrate curiosity and the desire to help. Open your mind to their ideas and viewpoints. Allow the person time to think before they speak. Also, pay attention to nonverbal clues such as their tone of voice. Practice active listening by restating in your own words what the person said. Or wait until the end of the meeting when you can thoughtfully  summarize the full conversation—so that your direct report knows you empathize and understand their perspectives and experiences. Having regular one-on-one meetings leads to trusting relationships built on empathy, respect, loyalty, and accountability for everyone involved.

Remember that as a manager, the best moments you spend are the ones you invest in your people. Lead with empathy and show them they are valued by listening, letting them know you understand their needs, and always keeping the lines of communication open. They will want to do their best for you and willingly take accountability. When that happens, you’ll know you have a high performing team.

Any Dumb-Ass Can Do It: A New Book by My Friend, Garry Ridge

/ Ken Blanchard

My good friend, Garry Ridge, has a new book out called Any Dumb-Ass Can Do It: Learning Moments from an Everyday CEO of a Multibillion-Dollar Company. I’m not surprised that it’s already a bestseller, because the book is as fun to read as it is informative. You can tell from chapters like “Even the Queen Sits Down to Pee” that Garry doesn’t take himself too seriously. Yet every chapter contains a key message about creating a safe, supportive work culture in which people can thrive. As Garry knows, when people thrive, so does the bottom line.

Don’t Mark My Paper—Help Me Get an A

I met Garry more than 20 years ago when he signed up for the Master of Science in Executive Leadership (MSEL) graduate program that my wife, Margie, and I were teaching at the University of San Diego. He had just arrived in the US from Australia to take over as president of WD-40 Company, and he thought our MSEL program would help him be a more effective leader.

A light bulb went on in Garry’s head when he heard me talk about how during my days as a college professor I used to give out the final exam at the beginning of the course and spend the semester teaching students the answers so they could get an A on the final exam.

“Why don’t we do that in business?” he asked. It made no sense to him why managers stood back and graded people instead of coaching them. So, he set up a “Don’t Mark My Paper, Help Me Get an A” performance review system at WD-40 Company that coached learners instead of punishing them. The results were spectacular; the company’s annual sales more than tripled. Garry and I wrote a book about it called Helping People Win at Work.

Investing in Leadership Development

Garry continued to implement the leadership practices Blanchard had been teaching for decades, heart-centered strategies for building trust and leading individuals and teams. By the time he retired as CEO of WD-40 Company, it was valued at more than $3 billion, with products selling in 176 countries on every continent. We were lucky to have Garry serve on the Blanchard board of directors, where we benefited from many of his powerful “learning moments”—those flashes of insight that led to better outcomes.

I’ve always said that success is about results and relationships. Garry is a living, breathing example of how a leader of a publicly traded company can succeed while caring about its people. As Garry puts it, “I love my shareholders, but I serve my people. Because if I serve my people, they will delight my customers who will in turn delight my shareholders. The vision-crushing ritual of the pressure of quarterly earnings is no measure of a company’s true, long-term success.”

Garry is no dumb-ass, of course. In fact, Inc. magazine named him as one of the world’s Top 10 Most Admired CEOs. His point is that you don’t have to have super intelligence or a fancy degree to succeed as a leader. But you must have the humility to learn, and you must genuinely care for the people in your organization. When your people thrive, they create raving fan customers who in turn support a healthy bottom line, which delights shareholders. If Garry is a dumb-ass, we need more like him in business!

Margie—The Woman Beside Me

/ Ken Blanchard

In honor of Women’s History Month, I’ve updated this blog post I wrote two years ago about my favorite woman. She is my best friend, my true love, and my brilliant, beautiful wife of nearly 64 years—Margie Blanchard.

The old saying “Behind every successful man is a woman” isn’t true in our case. Margie was never behind me—she has always been right beside me as my partner in life. I wouldn’t be anywhere without Margie. She has been the spark for many of the great events of our lives.

The Beginning

I fell in love with Margie in the summer of 1961. I had just graduated from Cornell and was hanging around town for the summer, mainly to play golf and take a couple of courses to lighten my load for the master’s program I would be starting in the fall. A friend of mine whom we all called “Looper” had been dating Margie, but his father passed away and Looper needed to go home to run the family dairy. He asked me if I would take Margie out once in a while as a favor to him. One day my roommate asked me to have a drink with him and one of Margie’s sorority sisters who was getting married soon. My roommate was going to be best man in their wedding. I said, “Okay, I’ll invite Margie McKee to join us. She’s almost married, too.”

Margie was working that summer as a speech therapist and counselor at a camp for kids with severe speech problems. I picked her up at the camp and we drove eight miles back to town. She spent the entire ride describing her feelings about these special needs children—she was so filled with compassion. She had a real heart for those kids as well as a need to help people. I think I fell in love with Margie on that eight-mile ride. We were married the following June.

My Start as an Author

In the fall of 1966, Margie (pregnant with our daughter, Debbie), our son, Scott, and I arrived at Ohio University. I had landed a job as an assistant to Harry Evarts, dean of the school of business administration. Paul Hersey had just arrived on campus as chairman of the management department, where I began teaching a course at the request of the dean. I discovered that I loved teaching.

I heard Hersey taught a tremendous course on leadership, so in December I went to see him and said, “Paul, I understand you teach a great leadership course. Could I sit in next semester?”

Paul said I was welcome to take his course, but I would have to take it for credit.

I was stunned. I went home and told Margie about the conversation.

“Can you imagine? He won’t let me audit his course. I have a Ph.D. and he doesn’t, and he wants me to take his course for credit!”

Margie said, “That’s all fine, but is he any good?”

“He’s supposed to be fabulous.”

“Then why don’t you get your ego out of the way and take his course?”

After convincing the registrar to let me take Hersey’s undergrad course, I signed up, went to class, wrote all the papers, and found it to be a great experience.

After the course ended, Hersey took me aside and asked me to write a textbook with him, which became the first edition of Management of Organizational Behavior: Utilizing Human Resources. It is still in print, now in its tenth edition.

If it weren’t for Margie’s suggestion, Paul Hersey and I would not have coauthored that book, which popularized the Situational Leadership®* model we created together.

The Birth of The One Minute Manager

In 1980, Margie and I went to a cocktail party for San Diego authors. Also at the party was Spencer Johnson, who had coauthored a series of children’s books called Value Tales with his wife, Ann Donegan. He was in the process of coauthoring a parenting book titled The One Minute Scolding. Margie met Spencer first, hand-carried him over to me, and told us she thought we should meet.

Then Margie said something that would change all our lives: “You two need to write a children’s book for managers. They won’t read anything else.”

The following week, Spencer came to see me speak at a seminar I was giving in town. He sat in the back, laughing, apparently enjoying my presentation. At the end, he came up to me and said “The hell with parenting—let’s write The One Minute Manager®!” And we did.

To date, the book has sold more than fifteen million copies. It wouldn’t have happened without Margie.

The Ken Blanchard Companies® and Beyond

During the ten years Margie spent as president of our company, I was sometimes asked why she was president, not me. I thought it was obvious that she was the one who should be president. That held true: when Margie started her term, we were a five million dollar company. When she left that position, we were a thirty million dollar company. (Margie is the first to say that partnering with her brother, Tom McKee, who joined the company as general manager of operations, was what made the difference.) As a lifelong cheerleader, I was just happy to work beside Margie and Tom and cheer them on.

Margie has always been interested in keeping an eye on business trends. She also believes leaders should keep managing the present separate from planning the future. So when she ended her term as company president, she and Blanchard cofounder Eunice Parisi-Carew created a unique, innovative think tank they named Office of the Future (OOF). With help from Margie’s assistant, Lily Guthrie, OOF studied and reported on emerging trends in leadership, technology, and other workplace issues. OOF’s findings and reports were available to clients and other organizations to assist with planning for the future, and to the media for use in advising the public of trends in the workplace. Margie saw their work and research as both a challenge to Blanchard’s status quo and a stimulus for change that would ensure our company’s continued vitality and success.

Today, Margie is as active and interesting as ever. Because Margie is a lifelong teacher, she has a special place in her heart for Blanchard Institute, our 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that offers free Student Self Leadership training programs for students 14 to 18, with several scholarships available each year for higher education. She also loves to teach courses on career planning to young people in our company. And because Margie is a lifelong learner, when the pandemic began she took up a new hobby of watercolor painting. She’s really good!

Thank you, Margie, for being a wonderful woman and the best partner a man could ever hope to have.

*Situational Leadership® is a registered trademark of Leadership Studies, Inc., dba The Center for Leadership Studies.  

Table Talk, Anyone?

/ Ken Blanchard

Early in our marriage, Margie and I realized how enjoyable it was to have people come to our home for dinner. Sometimes we would invite just a few close friends we hadn’t seen for a while; sometimes we would host family members from out of town; and other times it was great fun introducing neighbors who had never met each other and watching them become friends. As our organization grew, we became great friends with dozens of our colleagues and the dinner parties became almost legendary.

The fare at these get-togethers—everything from sandwiches to backyard barbecues to holiday feasts—was never the important part. It was the camaraderie—the joy of seeing old friends and making new ones.

Margie and I noticed something interesting early on. When everyone was seated at a big table, several small conversations would be going on at the same time. People would talk to the person on their left and the person on their right and that was about it. There’s nothing wrong with that, but we really wanted people to leave the party knowing more about each other than they did before they arrived. We figured out the best way to bring everyone together. It was simple.

At one point during the meal, Margie would give the person seated next to her a jar that contained several small slips of paper. Each person was asked to reach in the jar, take a slip of paper (no peeking), and pass the jar to the next person. When everyone had a paper, they discovered a question they would read aloud and then answer. There was no pressure—people could answer their question in whatever order came up. Some would need time to think about their answer and some just needed a few folks to go ahead of them (or maybe a little wine) to build their confidence. 

Every so often we would change the rules and give everyone the same question to answer. Each of these occasions was a memorable time. The questions and answers were more than conversation starters—they were glimpses of people’s thoughts, feelings, and memories that we may have never heard otherwise. The stories told led to other stories, comments, jokes, food for thought, and always laughter. 

Here’s a few examples of the questions we had for our dinner guests:

  • What’s your best birthday memory?
  • What have you learned this year?
  • What has brought you joy this year?
  • What are you looking forward to?
  • What is something you know to be true?
  • If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?
  • What do you want to do in the future that you haven’t done yet?

But wait—this isn’t just for adult dinner parties. Anyone with school-aged children at home will find that letting the kids pick questions from a jar on family dinner nights is far more interesting, informative, and fun than making them answer the same “How was school?” questions every day. They might even want to make up their own questions and do this activity with their friends.

It’s easy to find websites with lists of questions for just this purpose. We’ve done some of the work for you by providing these links:

Having a jar of table topics on hand is never a bad idea. It’s a great way for everyone at any table to get to know one another a bit better. You just never know what you will learn!