Laura Berman Fortgang, a friend of my son Scott and his wife Madeleine, wrote a book recently called The Little Book of Meaning that really made me think. I think it’s really an interesting topic, because I think one of the gnawing questions people have is: What’s the meaning of life? What’s our reason for being here? I think it’s so important that we not just go through the motions in life. You know—you come to work, you do your job, you go home, you do this and you do that. Where do you make the difference? What is meaning for you? In my opinion, it’s all tied into relationships—relationships with yourself, with others, and with something greater than yourself. And I think we can create meaning for ourselves. We can create it by the attitudes we bring and the desire to have meaning in our life. If you feel like you’re getting hum-drummy about life, step back and quiet yourself and say, “Why am I doing this? What is the meaning of this? Why am I here?” Just raising these questions will enlighten you and lift you up to a different level. So keep asking the questions around meaning—because we all have a real purpose. Don’t forget it.
Relationships
Dealing With Anger
In my weekly men’s group we recently were studying anger. Anger is a really interesting thing, you know. I think we can all get angry for a cause—you know, something that upsets us. But the really interesting question is: How do you express your anger? Do you attack other people? Are you completely out of control?
One of my beliefs that I know you all have heard is that one way to get out of a company quickly is to be someone who is angry all the time, and yelling at people and putting people down. I think if there’s a problem you’re upset about, you need to confront the person in a very civil and calm way and problem solve. What often happens when you lose your temper and get upset with somebody is that, when you walk away, their energy is focused on you and how you treated them rather than what might have been the problem that ignited you. I have also said a number of times that we seem to be nicer to strangers very often than we are to people we love and care about. We sometimes take license with people around us, and those are the people we should really reach out and appreciate. So it was interesting—we had forty men today talking about anger, how they deal with anger and where anger comes from. There’s a wonderful story from George Sweeney: A student said, “I lose my temper, but it’s all over in a minute,” And the professor replied, “So was the hydrogen bomb, but think of the damage it produced.”
So take a look at yourself and how you deal with anger. Do you strike out or do you deal with it in a way that can express your feelings so the problem can be resolved?
Personal Branding Interview
I did a recent interview with Dan Schawbel for his blog, Personal Branding. Read the interview at http://personalbrandingblog.com/personal-branding-interview-ken-blanchard/ and let me know what you think.
Some Books I’ve Been Reading
I love Mac Anderson’s and BJ Gallagher’s new book, Learning to Dance in the Rain: The Power of Gratitude. They say, “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass…..it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” In these tough economic times there is certainly a lot of rain, so I think we are going to have plenty of chances to dance before the storm passes. There is also a wonderful quote by Nancy J. Carmody: “I am thankful for lawns that need mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home……….I’m thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby.” My feeling is it is hard to get through tough times if you don’t appreciate the good times.
Another great book to read during these time is Spencer Johnson’s Peaks and Valleys. He makes a clear point that peaks are not forever and neither are valleys. When we are experiencing a peak we need to prepare for when that might end. When we are in a valley it is a great time to build up strength so we can prepare for the next peak. Life is a very special occasion with its peaks and valleys.
Norman Vincent Peale said, “We have a choice every morning when we get up. We can feel good about ourselves, or we can feel bad.” The choice seems obvious to me. Good on you all.
How We Lead 