There are always some wonderful lessons, I think, from sports. I remember back watching the L. A. Lakers playoff run. It was interesting because the Lakers were really down and out several times—they were losing by 12 at halftime, then they came back, then they got behind again. Right at the buzzer with four seconds to go, Derek Fisher throws in this long three-pointer to tie the score and send it into overtime. Then in the overtime he hit another really crucial three-pointer, and he had missed five in a row and hadn’t been playing very well in the other games. One of the things he said at the end was that Coach Jackson just kept on having confidence in him—because he’s a veteran. He and Kobe were playing together for years. And he said, “I believe in you, you get in there.” It just makes such a difference in people’s lives when you believe in them, even when they’re down. And then Derek came through when he needed to and he was so thrilled to help. But he said he wouldn’t have done it if the coach hadn’t continued to have confidence in him even when he was down. It’s an interesting thing—you just need to keep on pumping people up. So remember—keep on encouraging each other, even when things might not be going well.
Life
Starting to Make a New Ending
I got up really early a few times in the last month to do TV shows with Garry Ridge about our book Helping People Win at Work: A Business Philosophy called “Don’t Mark My Paper, Help Me Get an A. I was also up early doing radio shows all over the country for Who Killed Change?
You might say, well, what is this all doing besides selling books? I think the two big areas where we can really start to help our companies in tough times is, first, how they can get the best kind of performance out of their people. The whole concept of Don’t Mark My Paper, Help Me Get an A is so helpful in these times so people know what an “A” looks like and what they need to do to help their company. We’re going to be putting in a whole version of that system in our company so we can all get a clearer sense of what an “A” is for us. I think we can make some real interventions in that and help change the way performance evaluations are done. In terms of Who Killed Change? I think one of the biggest issues for companies is how to implement change in a way that sticks and makes a difference—because we are in a constant flux of change. I don’t think these two things are just about books; I think they are really about opportunities for companies to survive and thrive in tough times.
I got a wonderful quote in the mail the other day from Paul Kreider, who has been with Hershey’s Chocolate for thirty years: “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anybody can start today and make a new ending.” That’s really interesting, you know. You can’t redo the past, but starting today, you can say, “What am I going to do differently today to get a different ending at the end of this week, the end of the year, the end of my life?” I just love that quote. So today’s the beginning of the rest of your life. How are you going to get a new ending for what you’re doing now?
The Meaning of Life
Laura Berman Fortgang, a friend of my son Scott and his wife Madeleine, wrote a book recently called The Little Book of Meaning that really made me think. I think it’s really an interesting topic, because I think one of the gnawing questions people have is: What’s the meaning of life? What’s our reason for being here? I think it’s so important that we not just go through the motions in life. You know—you come to work, you do your job, you go home, you do this and you do that. Where do you make the difference? What is meaning for you? In my opinion, it’s all tied into relationships—relationships with yourself, with others, and with something greater than yourself. And I think we can create meaning for ourselves. We can create it by the attitudes we bring and the desire to have meaning in our life. If you feel like you’re getting hum-drummy about life, step back and quiet yourself and say, “Why am I doing this? What is the meaning of this? Why am I here?” Just raising these questions will enlighten you and lift you up to a different level. So keep asking the questions around meaning—because we all have a real purpose. Don’t forget it.
Dealing With Anger
In my weekly men’s group we recently were studying anger. Anger is a really interesting thing, you know. I think we can all get angry for a cause—you know, something that upsets us. But the really interesting question is: How do you express your anger? Do you attack other people? Are you completely out of control?
One of my beliefs that I know you all have heard is that one way to get out of a company quickly is to be someone who is angry all the time, and yelling at people and putting people down. I think if there’s a problem you’re upset about, you need to confront the person in a very civil and calm way and problem solve. What often happens when you lose your temper and get upset with somebody is that, when you walk away, their energy is focused on you and how you treated them rather than what might have been the problem that ignited you. I have also said a number of times that we seem to be nicer to strangers very often than we are to people we love and care about. We sometimes take license with people around us, and those are the people we should really reach out and appreciate. So it was interesting—we had forty men today talking about anger, how they deal with anger and where anger comes from. There’s a wonderful story from George Sweeney: A student said, “I lose my temper, but it’s all over in a minute,” And the professor replied, “So was the hydrogen bomb, but think of the damage it produced.”
So take a look at yourself and how you deal with anger. Do you strike out or do you deal with it in a way that can express your feelings so the problem can be resolved?
Optimism
Today I came across a wonderful quote from Winston Churchill, who I always felt was quite a guy. He said, “An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity. A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.” I guess I’m an optimist. I’m always looking for the lemonade from the lemons. That’s the way my mom always was. She said I laughed before I cried, I danced before I walked and I smiled before I frowned. So what are you? Are you an optimist or a pessimist? I think optimists live life a little bit differently and, I hope, more joyously. So be an optimist today, no matter what’s bothering you. See if you can see the opportunity in the problem rather than seeing everything as a problem. Have a great day.
How We Lead 