Recharge

Another Skaneateles Summer

/ Ken Blanchard

My wife, Margie, and I are once again in our favorite place for the summer: our cottage in the beautiful town of Skaneateles in upstate New York. We arrived a few days ago and are still unpacking and doing all kinds of things to get this place going.

Going to our cottage in Skaneateles isn’t something we just decided to start doing when we noticed ourselves getting older. Our extended family has had the great privilege of spending July and August here for more than 75 years! Surrounded by a deep green forest and overlooking the pristine water of Skaneateles Lake, our cottage is the perfect place to recharge and reflect, share memories, and make new ones. It’s also where I’ve often found inspiration for many of the books I’ve written.

In case you haven’t heard me speak or write about this before, let me fill you in. In 1946, Margie’s mother and father bought 300 feet of lake frontage for $300. So Margie has been coming here every year since she was six years old, and I’ve been coming with her since we got married in the summer of 1962. When we started our company in 1979, we said to the few folks who worked with us at the time, “By the way, we won’t be around in July or August—you’ll have to operate without us.” And that’s been our practice every year. Of course we both keep in touch with our leadership team, but we focus on rest and relaxation.

Skaneateles Lake is one of the Finger Lakes, located near Syracuse and not far from Cornell, Margie’s and my alma mater. The lake is 17 miles long and 315 feet deep. It is one of the cleanest lakes in the United States—so clean that the city of Syracuse takes its water straight out of it! And it’s so cold, even in the summer, that when you jump in it takes your breath away. But we always jump in.

You can see now that traveling to Skaneateles is much more than a fun vacation—it’s a decades-old tradition. Margie’s parents’ cottage was the first home built on the property. More and more building and expanding by family members has happened through the years, to the point where now when we host a big reunion weekend, everyone has a comfortable place to sleep. We have all worked together to build a family legacy for past, present, and future generations.

Every summer at the lake is a little different, which is why one of Margie’s favorite projects is going through hundreds of pictures and making a photo album so we have a record of everything that happened each year. By taking on this annual labor of love, Margie has ensured that the memories captured through the years will be with the family forever—all of the kids, grandkids, and now great-grandkids growing up; family members, friends, and colleagues who visited at various times; and every special event including birthdays, side trips to nearby towns, dinners out, boating, swimming, etc. Even sitting on the dock and talking about the weather is a special event in Skaneateles!

One of our special events is an annual celebration of life we call “Breakfast with the Ancestors.” On a designated morning, several of us get into our little pontoon boat with baskets of egg casseroles, pastries, fruit, and juice. We slowly motor down to the picturesque little cemetery at the end of the lake where Margie’s mom and dad and my sister, Sandy, are buried. Two tombstones are also in place for Margie and me showing our names and the years we were born followed by a dash. (We like to say we are enjoying “living our dash.”) We all sit down for a nice picnic breakfast and talk about memories we have of Margie’s mom and dad, Sandy, and other relatives who have passed away. It’s all about celebrating the lives of people we love who aren’t with us anymore—and sometimes even beloved pets we have lost. A few folks might think Margie and I take things a little too far when we lie down on top of our future graves to pose for photos—but it’s all in good fun, and another family tradition we have grown to love.

And what about the weather? Well, long ago we decided that when the weather is less than perfect, it really doesn’t matter because we are at our favorite place. One year it rained almost the entire summer. Every day I thought Noah was going to show up. Even so, we ended up with treasured memories of sitting on our porch with our visitors, drinking lemonade and watching the rain fall in the lake. And when our granddaughter, Hannah, and her wife, Beth, planned for an outdoor Skaneateles wedding in the summer of 2021, no one realized their big day would be preceded by two weeks of nonstop rain. Needless to say, the site of the wedding—which normally is a huge, beautiful green lawn—had become a mass of muddy grass. But when the sun came out from behind the clouds at the reception, the organizers opened the flaps of the big tent. Then the band started playing and a number of wedding guests took off their shoes, walked out into the sunshine, and danced on the muddy grass! Everyone had fun—and needless to say, it was an unforgettable day of love and mud.

Margery Allen, who was my assistant for many years and is a wonderful writer, composed these lovely thoughts for us. I read this piece every year because I think it perfectly describes our feelings about this magical place:

“Breathe deeply as you cross the threshold and take in the sights, sounds, and smells of the cottage and the lake. Feel that sense of relaxation deep in your bones as you view what has brought you solace for so many summers. Remember the memories created in anticipation of what is yet to unfold during the next few weeks. Enjoy the solitude and gift of time that refreshes you. Look forward to family and friends joining you once again at this favorite place. Rest, relax, and think positive thoughts. Visualize and heal from within.”

No matter where you live, it’s important to find a place where you can recharge and reflect. Everyone deserves the quiet joy of being in nature and spending time with people you love. Does your family have a special place where you go every so often, just to relax and have fun together? Do you remember such a place from when you were a kid? I hope so. It wouldn’t have to be a cottage on a lake; it could be the big park on the edge of town, a favorite campground or beach, or a road trip to a much-loved relative’s house. For us, it’s always been summer in Skaneateles, New York—a treasured time and place for us to come together for relaxation, fun, and contemplation with family and friends.

How to Recharge Through Rest and Reflection

/ Ken Blanchard

If you’ve followed my work for any period of time, you’ll know that I’m a big proponent of goal setting, praising progress, lifelong learning, and continual growth. It’s important to have a compelling vision and satisfying to live a purpose-driven life.

But sometimes we go overboard on the “driven” part. That’s when things get out of whack. Our stress levels go up, the quality of our sleep goes down, our immune systems lose strength, and our creativity vanishes like an icecube on hot pavement. When you begin to feel these symptoms, that’s when you know it’s time to prioritize self-care in the form of rest, reflection, and recharging.

Practice Doing Nothing

Smart leaders know that sometimes one of the best ways to get things done is to do nothing at all. Why is that? Because too much focus can narrow your thinking. Your brain gets stuck on the same old neural pathways and your thoughts don’t extend beyond the obvious and unoriginal.

Jeff Weiner, who recently stepped down as CEO of LinkedIn, understands the importance of doing nothing. “Part of the key to time management is carving out time to think, as opposed to constantly reacting,” he said in an interview with The Wall Street Journal.

Surprisingly, when we step away from the relentless pursuit of tasks, we’re often able to see our vision more clearly and feel newly inspired by it. So, the next time you’re feeling stuck, follow the direction of the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland:

“Don’t just do something, stand there!”

 In other words, break away from your routine of constant activity to reboot your mental and physical health.

Working out with a personal trainer, I was fascinated to learn that muscle growth does not happen during the workout—it happens when we’re resting. The same is true for us. We grow when we pause to reflect on what we’re doing. That’s why, if we want to develop as leaders, we need to prioritize down time.

Start Your Day Slowly

I learned to take daily time for reflection from my late friend and coauthor, Norman Vincent Peale. Norman taught me that we all have two selves: an inner self that is thoughtful, reflective, and a good listener; and an outer, task-oriented self that is focused on achieving and too busy to reflect. Guess which one wakes up first in the morning? The task oriented self! Most of us leap out of bed into our task-oriented selves without giving our inner selves a thought. We race through the day, filling every moment with activities and achievements, until we fall exhausted into bed, with hardly enough energy to say goodnight to the loved one who might be lying next to us. The next day we’re at it again. Soon, one day leads into another, and life becomes a rat race. As Lily Tomlin said:

“The trouble with being in a rat race is that even if you win the race, you’re still a rat.”

The way to avoid the rat race is to honor your inner self by starting your day slowly, in solitude, taking time to reflect, pray, or meditate. I get inspiration from a booklet of favorite uplifting quotes that I put together and read in the morning.

Take Your Personal Time Off

In addition to carving out daily reflection time, it’s also important to take vacation time. But according to a recent Pew Research survey, a significant share of American workers—46 percent—say they do not take all of their available paid time off. People cited worry about losing their jobs or falling behind in their work as the reasons for not taking the time.

Leaders and managers need to encourage people to use their personal time off. While it may seem counterintuitive, several data driven studies show that time off leads to greater, not less, productivity. It’s easy for me to believe those studies, because their findings track with my own experience.

For more than 60 years, my wife, Margie, and I have had the great privilege of spending the summer weeks at our lakeside home in Skaneateles, New York. Surrounded by a deep, green forest and overlooking the water, our cottage is the perfect place to rest, reflect, and recharge. Here is where I often find new inspiration for the books I’m writing.

No matter where you live or what resources you have, it’s important to find a place where you can recharge and reflect. Maybe it’s a nearby park, a beach, or a campground in your favorite national park. Once you find that special place, prioritize spending time there. Not just because it will make you more productive, but also because you deserve the quiet joy of being in nature and spending time with the people you love.

Harold Kushner, the author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People, said that in all his years as a rabbi, he never heard anyone say on his deathbed, “I wish I had gone to the office more.” So if you haven’t taken time off yet this summer, get to it!