Celebration

Embracing Reality—and Mud—Is Better than Fighting it

/ Ken Blanchard

We just had a fabulous wedding weekend at a place Margie and I call our “Farm” near Skaneateles Lake in upstate New York. The Farm is a five-acre plot of land, mostly lawn, with a house and a few outbuildings where we store family cars, boats, and other equipment when we aren’t in town.

Because of the beautiful view and the peaceful setting, our granddaughter, Hannah, and her devoted partner, Beth, decided the Farm was the perfect spot for their wedding and reception.

On the East Coast, the greatest unknown for summer weddings is the weather. It had been raining in central New York for almost two straight weeks and the forecast was for a wet wedding day. Our son, Scott, and daughter-in-law, Madeleine, not only had warned 130 guests to seriously consider their footwear, they had filled a big basket with Old Navy flip-flops for people to use and take home.

But on the day of the wedding, as our two families were gathering for pictures before the ceremony, the rain amazingly stopped. The sun gradually came out from behind the clouds during the reception—and the organizers opened the flaps of the big tent. This motivated a number of wedding guests to take off their shoes, walk out into the sunshine, and dance on the muddy grass! They had a ball and the rest of us had a lot of fun watching them.

In Scott’s words, “We were concerned that all the mud would dampen the fun. Instead, it had the opposite effect. Once the band started, people not only dealt with the mud, they embraced it. The dance floor spread from the tent to the muddy lawn. The way our guests danced in the mud was a beautiful demonstration of how resilient people can be when they decide to embrace, rather than fight, the reality they find themselves in. We had been so worried about the mud ruining the wedding—and yet the opposite occurred. No one will forget it.”

When I offered the prayer earlier at dinner, I emphasized one of my favorite sayings, “Love is the answer—what is the question?” The reason I did it was clear: all the festivities around this wedding were about love. Watching our families come together in such a joyous way was heartwarming. And there’s nothing more endearing than two people feeling unconditional love and support from their family and friends as they say their wedding vows. What a wonderful way to begin a new life together.

Whatever the question, love is the answer. And a little mud doesn’t hurt!

A Message from an Associate

/ Ken Blanchard

On my 80th birthday this month, I left the company a morning email message—as I’ve done almost every day for more than 20 years—sharing my thoughts about entering my ninth decade.

Some people have asked me if it’s a burden to come up with a morning message every day. It really isn’t, because it keeps me thinking about learnings I can share and how I can help people. And when I get a message like the one below from our associate, Sarah Caverhill, it’s all worth it.

Dear Ken,

What a wonderful morning message! Your life has given so much to the world and you still have so much to give.  I am amazed at how much positive impact we create for others and how many lives we touch, directly and indirectly.  Every person who participates in one of our courses impacts all the people they lead, and they in turn impact the people they touch.  Such a virtuous cycle!

I believe we are put on paths for a reason and I want you to know how much I value the experience I have had with Blanchard.  I have learned so much from you and you probably don’t realize that. I didn’t grow up with happy parents, although they were good people who had a strong work ethic and valued education. I do appreciate what they taught me. But happiness, joy, and celebration were not part of our household. Then God steered me onto a different path, and I came to Blanchard over 23 years ago. I had so much to learn! I can’t tell you how much your mentoring through morning messages has meant through the years. Here are some of the great things I’ve learned from you.

  1. I’ve learned the value of celebration. Growing up, my family didn’t celebrate much. You have helped me turn my own family into a loving, celebratory, supportive one. I actually taught my parents how to celebrate and appreciate all that life has to offer. In fact, we had a big celebration last month to honor my dad’s 90th birthday!

 

  1. I’ve learned the importance of keeping “I love you’s” up to date.  After we reached adulthood my parents rarely said “I love you” to us. In fact, I can’t think of a single time from teenager-dom on. But after I joined Blanchard, I started saying it every time I talked to them. It was awkward at first because they weren’t used to it. But over time they caught on and it’s now a part of our daily conversations. I recently lost my mother and I’m so grateful that you taught me to keep my “I love you’s” up to date! I know she knew how much I loved her, and I know how much she loved me.  That simple statement put a lot of joy into her later years. And nowadays my dad gets a big grin on his face whenever he sees me and tells me he loves me.  WOW! Who would’ve thought?

 

  1. I also learned from you that life is a very special occasion and not to take it for granted. I focus on showing up well every day that I can!  I don’t want to miss a thing and I want every moment to count. I spend time with my friends and loved ones and cherish every moment. And that includes a lot of Blanchard friends I’ve made over the years. It really is great to work with such talented, loving people.

 

I know there are a lot of other things, but those are my top three.  So, keep on doing what you do so well. We are all blessed to be here celebrating with you, even if virtually!  You will never know exactly how many lives you’ve touched because it’s impossible to count that high. Your legacy is one of love, caring, and respect for all.  You should run for President!

Love to you and Margie as you celebrate,

Sarah

Thank you, Sarah. By sending me this message, you put into action another of my favorite learnings: Catching people doing things right!

Breakfast with the Ancestors

/ Ken Blanchard

This past weekend my wife Margie and I participated in a fun event we call Breakfast with the Ancestors. Margie made a couple of egg casseroles, our friend Mike baked some banana bread, and we took our feast out to a little cemetery at the end of the lake.

It all started many years ago when my sister, Sandy, passed away tragically at the age of 42. My grieving mom didn’t know where to bury Sandy. That got Margie and me thinking about mortality, and where our family might want to be buried someday.

When Margie asked her mom where she and her dad would like to be buried, her mom didn’t hesitate to answer. “On the hill in that little cemetery at the south end of the lake, in the town of Scott,” she said.

So back in the 1970s Margie and I bought five plots in that cemetery—with lifetime perpetual care—for the exorbitant price of $50 each! We got a plot for my sister, Sandy, a pair of plots for Margie’s mom and dad, and a pair of plots for ourselves.

Today, Margie’s mom and dad and my sister, Sandy, are buried in that little cemetery. Plus, there are two empty plots with tombstones that read, “Ken Blanchard, 1939—” and “Margie Blanchard, 1940—”.

Some people think that’s a little sick—particularly when Margie and I lie down in front of our tombstones and pose for photos! But we are enjoying living our “dash”—that interval between the date of our births and the date of our deaths.

Celebration does wonders for the soul. By having a picnic around the tombstones every summer—sharing stories and remembrances of relatives and even beloved family dogs who have passed away—our family celebrates everyone’s dash. How do you celebrate yours?