I was once talking to a young woman and asked her if she liked her boss.
“She’s okay,” she said. “She seems to think I’m doing a good job.”
“How can you tell?” I asked her.
“Well, she hasn’t yelled at me lately,” she said.
Unfortunately, too many people have bosses like this—they never hear from them unless they do something wrong. That’s too bad. I am a firm believer in not only catching people doing things right, but praising them when they do.
I was involved in a corporate study where criticisms and praisings from managers to direct reports were tabulated and the reactions measured. The study concluded that in a healthy workplace environment there need to be at least four times as many positive interactions as negative ones between manager and direct report—a 4:1 ratio.
When there was one praising for each criticism (1:1), people perceived their relationship with their boss to be negative. When the ratio was changed and there were two praisings to one criticism (2:1), people still saw their manager as being all over them. It wasn’t until there were four praisings to one criticism (4:1) that people responded that they had a good relationship with their boss.
You know that people’s perception of criticism is powerful when it takes four positive comments to balance one negative comment. It’s pretty clear that when a leader doesn’t give a lot of praise, the people who work with them will think of them as negative and unfair. So how can you cultivate that much praise? It’s simple: catch people doing something right and give them a One Minute Praising.
In The New One Minute Manager®, my late friend Spencer Johnson and I wrote about One Minute Praisings. They work best when you follow these steps:
- Praise someone as soon as possible after you see praiseworthy behavior or work. Don’t save up compliments—unspoken praise is worthless!
- In very specific terms, tell the person what they did right—and be specific.
- Tell them how good you feel about what they did right and how it helps others or the organization. In other words, relate their good behavior to the broader picture.
- Once you’ve given a praising, pause to let the message sink in and give the person a chance to feel good about what they did.
- After a brief pause, let the person know you would like to see more of the same behavior.
- Make it clear that you have confidence in them and that you support their success in the organization.
These steps can easily and sincerely be accomplished in a minute. One Minute Praisings have a powerful impact on morale and productivity—and they are a great way to create a consistent 4:1 ratio in your organization!
A few years ago, my good friend Bill Hybels, founding pastor of Willow Creek Community Church, came up with an interesting concept about how leadership is like the face of a compass, with four points—south, north, east, and west.
When people talk about leadership, they are usually talking about the compass pointing south. When you lead south, you are the leader and your job is to help your people win. Spencer Johnson and I wrote about this in The One Minute Manager. You work with your people on goal setting, praise them when they do well, and redirect them when they get off track.
When you manage north, it’s about influencing up—which is the subject of my book with Susan Fowler and Lawrence Hawkins, Self Leadership and the One Minute Manager. How do you get what you need to succeed? You must develop the right mindset and skillset to ask your boss for exactly what you need.
Then there’s leading east and west, which is all about supporting your colleagues and others in your peer group. When you know how to lead laterally and create win-win situations with your peers, it can have a very positive effect on the culture. Leading east and west is also about the mentoring that can happen among people of any rank or age as long as one person has something they can learn from another.
What’s really key to the compass analogy is what is at the center of the compass: you. The most difficult leadership challenge we all have is ourselves. Meeting that challenge begins by being self-aware. It doesn’t matter how many points we hit around the compass if we’re not strong in the middle. Take a hard look at yourself. Figure out what you need to do to be the kind of leader you want to be.
If you want to be a 360-degree leader, you need to learn how to lead in all four directions—south, where you serve the people who report to you; north, where relationship and influence help you manage those with authority over you; and east and west where you guide and encourage your peers. And don’t forget to keep the compass point centered by knowing you are the best leader you can be so that you can maximize your influence on others.
Spencer Johnson, M.D., author of Who Moved My Cheese? and my coauthor on The One Minute Manager® and The New One Minute Manager®, died last week from pancreatic cancer.
Together, Spencer and I created the business parable movement. But more important, Spencer was my teacher and friend. He taught me that in writing books, feedback is truly the “breakfast of champions.” As an author or coauthor, you write the first draft. Then you share it with potential readers to get their feedback, rework the manuscript, share it again, rework the manuscript again, etc., until your readers are so excited they start asking to buy a Xerox copy of the draft. That’s when you know you’ve got a winner.
Spencer impacted millions of lives. I’m going to miss him—and so will everyone else who knew him or read his books.
The San Diego Union-Tribune published a nice article about Spencer after he passed. Read it here.
People have studied the character traits of great leaders for years, and I believe humility is one of the most important qualities of a successful leader. I’ve always described humility in leaders like this—people with humility don’t think less of themselves, they just think of themselves less. They put others first.
I recently spent some time talking with Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly and Rising Strong. She also has one of the most popular TED talk videos on vulnerability that has been viewed by more than 25 million people. Brené researches and writes about courage and vulnerability. She explains that leaders need to be courageous and take chances that allow them to make a difference, but they also need to be vulnerable because they will make mistakes along the way. When leaders admit to those mistakes and ask for help, relationships grow stronger and more respectful.
Being humble, courageous and vulnerable just means being yourself—and keeping it real. If you need help, ask for it. If you make a mistake, admit it. That doesn’t seem so hard does it? Give it a try and see how your relationships improve.
In our book Mission Possible, my coauthor Terry Waghorn and I state that the most important earthly relationship you can cultivate as a leader is your relationship with yourself. That might sound self-serving, but think about it—how well do you really know yourself?
Every leader should have a purpose—a reason for being—something to strive for. A purpose is different from a goal because it is ongoing. It has no beginning or end.
As a leader, your purpose comprises two elements: a personal mission statement and a set of values that define your strengths and help you make values-based decisions on a daily basis. Having a clear purpose gives meaning and definition to a leader’s life.
Some people have asked me if making money is a good purpose. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make money—and it may be a goal to work toward—but it’s not a purpose. Purpose isn’t about achievement. It is much bigger. Your purpose is your calling. It’s about what business you are in as a person.
I ask leaders to spend time developing their personal mission statement by answering these four questions:
- Why am I in the world?
- What is my overarching purpose?
- What would I like people to say about me after I’m gone?
- What difference will it have made that I was here?
The next step is to identify your personal values by answering these questions:
- What is really important to me?
- What do I stand for?
- What three values do I want to live by?
- Which of those values is most important?
Going through this process takes some soul searching and quiet, thoughtful time. This isn’t an exercise to rush through.
Once you clearly understand your motivation and intention as a leader, you are able to monitor yourself on a daily basis. You’ll begin to notice certain actions that are more in line with your purpose than others. And you’ll begin eliminating behaviors that don’t support your purpose—and staying on a path of continuous personal improvement.
When you really know who you are as a leader, you can operate more efficiently and calmly while making meaningful decisions. But the best part is that you’ll also be able to bring out the magnificence in others. And isn’t that the most important role of a leader?