When reprimanding, what you do is often not as important as what you don’t do. Since no one really enjoys a reprimand, it’s easy for people to be put on the defensive when receiving criticism. I suggest remembering these “don’ts” when you must reprimand an individual. If you don’t observe these points, you may find that people become less concerned with listening to you and more concerned with fighting you off. Continue reading
Goals
If I Had My Life to Live Over
I recently saw a wonderful piece about “If I Had My Life to Live Over.” I thought it was worth sharing with you. It’s from the late Nadine Stair of Louisville, Kentucky, who wrote it when she was 85 years old:
If I had my life to live over again,
I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax.
I’d limber up. Continue reading
Season of Service
In San Diego we’re in the middle of a six-month “Season of Service” movement with businesses, civic agencies, and churches all pitching in with community volunteers to serve others. For years I’ve been dreaming about how we can make San Diego a servant leadership town – how in the near future people will come here and say, “What an amazing place to live—just look at the way government and business and education and neighborhoods interact – everyone seems to be out to serve each other and solve problems, not to be self serving.”
My larger dream is that leadership throughout the world will be composed of people who lead at a higher level and, in the process, serve first and lead second. That’s a really tall order, and I might sound like a dreamer. But read this wonderful quote from Harriet Tubman:
“Every great dream begins with a dreamer.
Always remember, you have within you
the strength, the patience, and the passion
to reach for the stars to change the world.”
Why not? What do you want to do to change the world? Remember, you can do it by the moment-to-moment interactions with your family, your friends, your colleagues, and everyone you meet. What’s your dream for changing the world? Go ahead, be a dreamer!
Love to Learn
Not too long ago I was an emcee at a conference in Florida and it was great. There were three interesting speakers—Craig Groeschel, who founded Lifechurch.tv, Andy Stanley, pastor of North Point Community Church near Atlanta, and then we had the famous author Patrick Lencioni.
I learned a lot from these guys. It was so interesting – all three of them talked about ego issues.
* Craig talked about how a lot of people have fear and let that fear stop them. He said you need to push through the pain and do what’s right.
* Patrick Lencioni has a new book called “Getting Naked,” which is all about being vulnerable. He thinks people in business shouldn’t try to act as if they’re perfect – people will really admire that. Colleen Barrett from Southwest Airlines has also said that people admire your strengths, but they love your vulnerability.
* And then Andy Stanley talked about how if you do less and delegate more, you are going to get a lot more accomplished. A lot of times people try to achieve things beyond their abilities because they are afraid to delegate to other people. That’s when you end up trying to do everything—and of course you’re going to fall short. Then you’re in trouble.
That sounds like the fear of false pride – where you think more of yourself than you should, and you don’t want to appear vulnerable. The other fear is where you have self doubt – and think less of yourself than you should. This really reinforces the importance of our whole self leadership program—really effective leadership starts from the inside. It starts with you, whether you’re trying to influence kids at home, or coworkers, or as a manager with your people, or what have you. It’s so important that you know who you are, and that you realize that you are NOT your performance or the opinion of others. You can do what’s right. You can also share and be vulnerable. When you make a mistake, you can push through fear.
I just love learning. Make sure this week to learn a lot. Maybe there’s still time today to learn something!
See the Outcome!
I recently heard a wonderful speaker named David Cook, who is one of the great sports mental coaches in the country. He had a really interesting theory about goal setting that I thought was worth sharing with you. He said when you go to set up a goal, whatever it is, you should try to see that goal in your own mind being accomplished. You need to see the outcome. Then you need to feel what it will be like once you’ve accomplished that particular goal, and get that feeling in mind. And then you need to trust that you’re going to be able to get there. He said the power is in the seeing it and the feeling it, and then just trusting the thing. So if you have a goal, whether it’s a business or personal goal, try to actually see yourself accomplishing it and feel like you’re going to feel once you’ve accomplished it—the smile on your face, the applause from other people, whatever—and then just trust it and set your sights on that goal. I think that is really interesting. In golf, he has a whole bunch of people who have “SFT” on their ball, so when they’re playing golf, they try to see every shot—what kind of shot are they going to hit, where is it going to go, how high and all—then get up and feel it, and then just trust the process. He said it really is amazing how it works on all kinds of goals. I was thinking about the great athletes competing in the Olympics—the ones who win have seen themselves crossing the finish line and accomplishing their goal ahead of time. Then they make their actions consistent with what they are seeing and feeling. I think it’s a really fascinating process: See it – Feel it – Trust it. Isn’t that interesting? Try it on one of your goals today.
How We Lead 