You know, my son Scott gives a presentation called “If You’re Talking, You’re Losing,” which is a really powerful thing. I think we all talk first and listen second. You know that saying about how if God wanted us to speak more than listen he would have given us two mouths—but he gave us two ears. I heard a wonderful thing recently, too: “Lead with your ears.” This is a thing I really need to learn. The problem with some of us is that we get so excited, and we’re so into what we’re doing, that when people talk to us the first thing we do is think about a response. We think about what we’re going to say next. I think I do that too often. So if I’m ever with you and I’m talking too much, just say to me very gently, “Ken—Shut your mouth and use your ears!” Wouldn’t it be neat if we could all feel free to do that with each other? If we would listen, we’d probably learn a lot more. So my thought today for myself and probably all of us is: Listen more and speak less. And remember when people say things, even if it sounds like it’s going to be a problem if you do something with what they say, separate out listening from deciding what you’re going to do. Listen first and decide second. Listen, listen, listen.
Commitment
Servant Leadership
It’s so interesting, chatting with people about what it means to really be a servant leader, and how much that’s needed everywhere. Why do we get off track? I think it gets back to the ego. You know, where you get false pride and you start thinking more of yourself than you should, and you’re kind of pushing and shoving for your own interests. How do people with false pride and that whole “It’s all about me” thing get away with it? Well, it’s another ego group that permits it to happen. That’s the group of self doubt—the people who fear. They think less of themselves than they should. They’re trying to protect themselves; they don’t want to speak out. What happens in a lot of organizations where you have self-serving leaders is that you get a lot of people who “quit and stay.” You have a whole bunch of people who are afraid to speak up and say something when people seem to be operating all on self interest. So the other self interest is to protect yourself so you can have a job tomorrow. So how do we get people to really lead at a higher level? You have to constantly look inside yourself. Why are we leading? What are we doing to bring out the magnificence in the people around us? How do we avoid that ego thing that’s there every day to trap us? Remember that you’re here to serve, not to be served. On a day that honors a very important servant leader, it’s a big, big thing to remember.
Excellence
Listen to this definition of excellence: Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible. I just think that is a really interesting thing – think about yourself and how you are doing in a caring scale, how you are doing in the risking scale, how you are doing in the dreaming scale, and how you are doing on the expecting scale. I really think that’s a wonderful definition of excellence. Be excellent today – care, risk, and dream and expect big.
Speaking of excellence… At the University of San Diego, my wife Margie and I teach a course as part of the Master of Science in Executive Leadership program. Our course is “Determining Your Leadership Point of View.” Your leadership point of view is really figuring out who you are as a leader, and sharing it.
There are seven aspects of it:
- Who are the role models you had early in life that impacted your belief about leadership? Most people don’t talk about bosses; they talk about their mother or father, uncle or cousin, teacher or coach—what we call “lifelong leaders.”
- What’s your mission in life? What are you trying to accomplish?
- What are your values – what’s going to guide your behavior?
- Based on those three things, what’s your leadership point of view—what are your beliefs about leading and motivating people?
- What are your expectations of others?
- What do your people expect of you?
- How are you going to walk your talk? How are you going to model what you say you stand for?
It’s a fascinating process. We discuss this in Chapter 15 of Leading at a Higher Level. So if you want to find out more about that, get a copy of that book and read that chapter. If any of you haven’t developed a leadership point of view, I would like to challenge you to develop it. Then sometime, maybe in the first part of next year, sit down with your people and share your leadership point of view with them. Because it really does clarify expectations and who you are. It’s not about weakness; it’s about sharing who you are so other people can share who they are with you. It’s a wonderful process. And remember, it’s not just supervisors that should have a leadership point of view—all of you are leaders in some aspect of your life. You’re a leader as a spouse, as a father or mother, or as a volunteer. Anytime you try to influence the behavior of someone else, you’re engaging in leadership. Where did you get your image of leadership? I challenge everybody to develop and be able to share their leadership point of view.
Are Leaders Born or Made?
You know, one of the questions I keep on getting is, “Are leaders born or made?” And my response is, “Both.” I know some people who are just born leaders. They just show that quality that makes people want to follow them, that magnetism—some have it from the time they are young kids. But I also feel that leaders can be made. People can learn. That’s what our business is all about. And people should always keep trying to learn more, trying to get better, even those who are born leaders. So I tell people that leaders are born and made. And of course, our whole business is based on the belief that we can help people become better leaders. I think that’s especially true if they keep learning interesting, exciting new things. So always be a learner. I’m absolutely convinced. That’s our #4 value at The Ken Blanchard Companies, and it’s so important—learning. When you stop learning, lie down, because it’s over. Take care! Have a great learning day.
A Goal is a Dream with a Deadline
You know, I think sometimes you really can make your dreams come true. Margie has often said, “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” As you think of your New Year’s resolutions, go ahead and dream about the person you want to be or the thing you want to do. When you start to send energy out to dream, people just may show up in your life to help you accomplish it. That’s what happened when Spencer Johnson and I wrote The One Minute Manager. In May 1982, the book was coming out and in September, Spencer Johnson and I met at the La Jolla Cove. We had The New York Times book review section and a bottle of champagne, and we set our goals and our dreams for this book. We dreamed that we would be able to sell 500,000 copies—no business book had ever sold that many—and we dreamed that it would be on The New York Times bestseller list for six months. We celebrated, we clicked the glasses as we were sitting there with the bestseller list, and it was just really a fun time. This was on a Sunday. On Monday I was getting on a plane in San Diego going to Chicago, and I introduced myself to the guy sitting next to me in First Class. I said, “What do you do?” and he said, “I’m a regional sales manager for B. Dalton.” I said, “You sell books?” and he said, “Sure, we have 750 stores.” And I started talking to this guy and I designed a whole strategy to get to the business and economic buyers of B. Dalton and Waldenbooks and all the bookstores. And I said to this guy, “You weren’t supposed to be sitting here, were you?” and he said, “How did you know that? They goofed up my ticket and at the last minute I was upgraded to First Class.” I said, “You had no choice. I sucked you into this seat with the energy from my dream and our vision about this book.” So dream big in 2010! And let other people know what your dream is so that maybe they can help it come true. Have a wonderful dreaming year and let’s see what kind of things you can accomplish at work and at home and in the community. Be the best you can be in 2010.
How We Lead 