Author: Ken Blanchard

The Golden Rule is Alive and Well

/ Ken Blanchard / 4 Comments

I was talking recently with one of my old friends who is not a man of traditional religious faith. I asked him, “What is your comfort? What is a philosophy you live by?” And he said, “I have always tried throughout my life to do the right thing. I think of the Golden Rule as my faith. I only try to do to other people as I would like to have done to me and I always try to take that into consideration. If all the faiths around the world would practice the Golden Rule, the world would be a different place. I believe our role in life is to treat other people as if they were important individuals and treat them as we would want to be treated.”  And I thought that was really powerful.

A large part of being a servant leader and being there for other people is realizing that every human being is important. Even if another person mistreats us, it doesn’t do us any good to lower ourselves to their methods. The concept of turning the other cheek is kind of hard sometimes, but it’s all about not getting hooked into somebody else’s poor behavior. Perhaps it’s easier to just think of it as living by the Golden Rule. I found out from Colleen Barrett that at Southwest Airlines, the Golden Rule is a major part of their company culture and leadership philosophy. Colleen learned that early in her life from her mother, who was a great believer in the Golden Rule.

So this week, as we go out and greet each other and greet customers and family members, just remember: Treat them as if it were you – how would you like to be treated? That’s a pretty great way to live life. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving week.

I’m OK, You’re Not – It’s All About EGO

/ Ken Blanchard / 7 Comments

I believe the biggest addiction problem in the workplace today is the human ego.  When people operate from their ego, their behavior tends to be based on fear rather than trust. When people behave out of fear, they have a high need to control others and their environment and they have a win-lose orientation toward everything.  Even when discussing the weather they want to make sure you know that they know more about weather than you do. They broadcast a philosophy about life that states “I’m okay, you’re not.”

I discovered this addiction many years ago when my wife Margie was writing a book with Dr. Mark J. Tager entitled Working Well and studying what made a healthy work environment. One of the questions they asked people in their research was, “Can a bad boss make you sick?”  A lot of people said, “Yes.”  They cited examples such as migraine headaches, ulcers, sleepless nights—even heart attacks and cancer.

I became fascinated by people’s perceptions of bad bosses, so I started asking people around the country to describe the worst boss they had ever worked for.  The primary description I heard was that of a high ego-driven person.  The worst managers were described as poor listeners who were reluctant to share credit and always wanted to be in the limelight.  While a lot of people would think people with a big ego had high self-esteem, I found the opposite to be true:  Individuals who operate from their ego are usually covering up “not okay” feelings about themselves.  They try to compensate for feelings of inadequacy by overpowering others and controlling their environment.

Why do I feel ego addiction is so harmful to the business community?  Because it is holding back progress in organizations.  Companies all over the country are having difficulties moving toward being the kind of organization they need to be to make it in this economy.  Companies today need to be customer driven, cost effective, fast and flexible, and continually improving.  To do this we need high-trust environments.  And yet, throughout the work world managers are hesitant to empower others and give them a chance to have more responsibility and take initiative to make decisions.  The people who are fearful and holding back support of these changes in business are those who are operating from their ego.  They fear loss of power and control.

People who are hung up on their egos and who operate out of fear really need love.  Yet it’s hard to love these people because they don’t seem very lovable.  Instead, folks with big egos seem to be demanding, self-centered, and unsatisfied. They feel better about themselves when they can make others feel inferior.  Fortunately, their attempts don’t have to be successful.  As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”

Just because someone has power doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a need to feel appreciated.  When was the last time you caught your boss doing something right?  When was the last time you gave your boss a hug?  I’m not necessarily talking about a physical hug—even a psychological hug can help.  Thank her for her support or for doing a good job on a certain task.  In my sessions I ask people who are parents whether their love for their kids depends on their kids’ achievements.  Rarely does a hand go up.  We love our children without any contingencies—it’s called unconditional love.  I think the same approach is needed in the workplace today.  We need to learn to trust and respect others, even if we sometimes have a problem with their behavior. If we can help everyone in the workforce feel good about themselves and raise their self-esteem, we’ll have more people willing to share power by permitting others to take initiative, make decisions, and let work teams be the main vehicle for decision making.  To overcome ego addiction, people have to get in touch with their own worthiness.  If it’s hard for them, others can help.

Everyone in organizations should set a goal to maintain or enhance the self-esteem of the people with whom they interact, for the benefit of all.  Big egos can be tamed with the right amount of tender loving care.

Create Autonomy Through Boundaries

/ Ken Blanchard / 2 Comments

One of the key steps to empowering people is to create autonomy through boundaries.  A problem in the past was the assumption that empowered people could do anything they wanted; they were in charge. That theory just doesn’t make sense.  A river without banks is just a large puddle—what permits a river to flow is its banks.  In empowering people, the banks are the boundary areas or guidelines within which people can operate. Top management takes a lead in providing these boundary areas.  They include the following:

  • Purpose – Everyone needs to know what business you are in.
  • Values – What are the beliefs that drive your behavior?
  • Goals – What are the big picture, bottom-line goals on which everyone should focus?
  • Roles – What are people being asked to do and contribute?
  • Incentives – What’s in it for people if they perform well?
  • Measures – How will people know what good behavior looks like?

Boundaries could also include policies and procedures.  As I learned from coaching great Don Shula when we wrote Everyone’s a Coach—you first need to have a plan, and then you need to expect the unexpected and be ready to change that plan if necessary.  In football, an “audible” is when the quarterback or defensive captain changes the plan on a given play when he realizes it won’t work.  Shula emphasized that effectiveness at calling audibles begins with a plan.

This concept was verified by two of our top consultants when they had a chance to observe the training of guide dogs for the blind.  They found that two kinds of dogs were disqualified from the program. The first kind, obviously, were the dogs who were completely disobedient—they wouldn’t do anything their master asked of them. The other kind of dogs that were dismissed, surprisingly, were ones that were completely obedient dogs—they would do whatever their master wanted.  The dogs that worked best were dogs that would do whatever their master wanted unless it didn’t make sense.

Let me give you an example. The totally obedient dog and its master are standing at a street corner when the dog’s master says, “Forward.” The dog looks to the left and sees a car coming at sixty-five miles an hour.  The dog thinks, “This is a real bummer,” as it leads its master out into the middle of the road.  But a dog that is intelligent and allowed to think for itself can make a choice that best fits the given circumstances.

Many organizations don’t seem to want their people to bring their brains to work.  How many times have you been in a situation where a front line employee said, “I’m sorry, but it’s our policy,” when in your specific circumstances the policy made no sense?

For example, one time when I was checking into a hotel, the woman behind the counter told me they had no rooms available until after 2:00 p.m.  I said, “That’s okay with me.  Could you please store my bags?”

She said, “Fine,” and asked me what else she could do for me.

I said, “I need to cash a traveler’s check.”

“I can’t do that,” she said.  “I don’t know what your room number is yet.”

“Why do you need my room number?” I asked.

“I have to put it on the back of every traveler’s check.”

“That’s a good policy,” I said, “but you have my bags.  It doesn’t make sense in this case.”

Her responses included “It’s our policy,” ”I just work here,” ”I don’t make the rules,” etc.  Can you imagine a guide dog for the blind under those restrictions?  It would be a goner at the first busy street!

Empowerment begins with boundaries.  There is nothing wrong with policies or procedures or other guidelines—empowered employees welcome them—but they recognize they can use their brains and call audibles when the policy doesn’t make sense.  Empowering people without giving them any boundaries can lead to disaster and failure.

When Communicating, Inspire—Don’t Inform

/ Ken Blanchard / 5 Comments

I was once asked to give a speech at the regional National Speakers Association meeting in San Diego about my approach for effective communicating.  Specifically, they wanted me to tell them how I give a speech.  My approach is simple.

First, I offer up a concept that could help each person in the audience be a better manager, teacher, coach, or parent.  Next, I give an example or tell a story that relates to that concept.  I get people laughing.  I try to zero in on audience members as human beings and make my point in such a way that it triggers an emotional reaction for each person. Ultimately, I want them to walk out of the room with an idea they can put into action in their lives. Here’s an example of my approach:

Introduce a concept that will enrich the life of each member of the audience.  “Of all the concepts that I have taught over the years, the most important is about catching people doing things right. There is little doubt in my mind that the key to developing people is to catch them doing something right and praise them for their performance.”  The minute I begin talking about catching people doing things right, praising them and letting them know you noticed their good performance, the audience perks up. Everyone can relate to this topic in some way, both at home and at work, because everyone loves praise.

Give an example that relates to the concept. After I talk to the audience about praising in a general sense, I warn people not to wait for exactly the right behavior to praise others—because they could be waiting forever!  “In the beginning, when people are learning something and are not top performers yet, you have to praise progress. For example, imagine that you’re trying to teach a child how to say, ‘Give me a glass of water, please.’ If she has never spoken before, and you wait for that full sentence before you give the child a sip of water, what have you got?  A very dehydrated kid, that’s what!  So what do you do?  You have to praise progress. First, zero in on the word water.  Repeat it over and over again.  Finally, the child will respond with something like ‘loller.’ When that happens, hug and kiss the kid.  Call his grandmother and get the child on the phone so she can say, ‘loller, loller, loller.’ While that’s not water, it’s not bad.  After a while, though, you will only accept water.  Why?  Because you don’t want your child going into a restaurant at 21 years of age and asking for a glass of loller.  So praising progress helps people move toward desired performance.”

Tell a story that shows other applications for the concept. “Is praising important in relationships other than with our children?  You’d better believe it.  Have you ever seen a couple in a restaurant in love?  Margie and I were at a French restaurant not long ago, where we spent three hours enjoying a marvelous meal and elegant atmosphere. On one side of us was a couple in love.  When one of them would talk, the other would smile and listen.  I don’t think they cared if the meal ever came. On the other side was a couple that obviously had been married for a while.  In three hours, I don’t think they said four sentences to each other.  He finally said, ‘How’s your meat?’  ‘Okay,’ was the reply, ‘How’s yours?’  I whispered to Margie, ‘That marriage is dead but nobody buried it.’  How do you get from hanging onto someone’s every word to having nothing to say?  It’s the frequency with which you catch each other doing things right.”

Summarize the presentation with tips the audience can put into action. “The key to keeping personal and professional relationships healthy is to constantly catch people doing things right, and praise them by accenting the positive.  When you accent the positive, you have deposits in your human relationship bank account with that person.  Now, if that person does something wrong, you can point it out without devastating the relationship.”

The example I’ve just presented demonstrates how, when giving a speech, I try to present a concept in human terms and involve the audience in a way that it stirs an emotional reaction in each person.  I try to relate the concept to something that is present in the lives of every audience member so they can feel the power of the concept.  Remember that your job as a communicator and speaker is to inspire and change people’s behavior, not just to share information. If you use this approach when giving a presentation, you will keep your audience interested and give them something they will remember—and be able to use—long after they leave the room.

Lack of Humor in the Workplace is No Laughing Matter

/ Ken Blanchard / 4 Comments

It amazes me how seriously some people in business take themselves.  It’s as if they have come to the conclusion that who they are or what they are doing is so important that there should be no time for anything as frivolous as laughter.  This is a sad outlook on life.

I tell people who work with me to take their work seriously and themselves lightly.  In doing so, they are better apt to have a sense of perspective about what they are doing that is balanced, and an openness to suggestions and new ideas I often find missing from those who are more tunnel-visioned and only focused on business. A sense of humor serves as a pressure valve that can keep you enjoying your work even when times are stressful. I find it a preferred alternative to developing an ulcer or migraine headache.  In fact, it is one of the best ways I know to get you through stressful times on the job.

I have found three useful methods for keeping a sense of humor.

1)  Take time for yourself. You should take time to relax and enjoy yourself some every day.  What this means will vary from person to person.  It may be reading a magazine, taking a walk, practicing yoga, or playing with your children. I personally recommend skipping.  I believe that it’s impossible to skip and not enjoy yourself—and people who see you will probably laugh as well.  (Unfortunately, I’m afraid my own skipping days are over now that I have two “bionic” hips!)  I also recommend easing into your day—that is, getting up an extra 30 to 45 minutes earlier each morning so you don’t have to “jolt and bolt” like a race horse out of the starting gate. If you are too busy to take some time for yourself, you will inevitably start to expect others you work with to do as you do, and stress will result for both you and your people.

2)  Set an example. Let others you work with know that it’s okay to joke with you by sharing your own sense of humor. I think the best humor is self-deprecating, because it’s never at someone else’s expense.  For example, when I’m with a group having a good time at work I love to say something like, “Hey, if I’m in charge here, how come everyone’s laughing?”

If you are a manager, CEO, or business owner, you have a great amount of influence in setting the tone of the work environment.  You need to show that it’s okay to have fun at work and to celebrate successes when they occur.  For example, once to celebrate record sales halfway through our fiscal year, we closed the company and took employees to the beach for some fun in the sun.  We took time to explain our company’s financials and why we were celebrating—and what it would mean to each employee in terms of gain sharing if our sales and profit rate continued.

3)  When you find yourself stressed about something, ask yourself, “What difference will this make in 100 years?” You guessed it:  No difference.  So why get stressed about it now?  Instead, make a plan and take positive steps toward your goals in a way that is reasonable for both yourself and those around you.

I use another perspective-setting technique that I call my “zoo mentality.”  I developed this when my children Scott and Debbie were growing up.  I noticed that whenever we were at a park or zoo I’d see parents yelling at their children for running around misbehaving and generally having a good time.  It seemed crazy to me to take your children to a place to have fun with them and then spend all your time yelling at them!  I decided what was called for was to get into a different frame of mind that I dubbed my “zoo mentality” when I wanted to have fun. Then if the kids started acting silly or chasing each other I’d be more inclined to join the fun myself.  I still use this technique occasionally when attending company meetings.

The way I see it, everything is on loan—the skills we have, the opportunities to use those skills, and the impact we are able to make in this life.  I’ve had good fortune in my life and I am thankful for it.  I have yet to meet the person who does not have some good fortunes in his or her life.  Even during dreadful times in your life and work, there is always a positive side if you take the time to look for it. Once you have this perspective it is difficult to have what I call “false pride,” in which you feel the world revolves around you.

Remember, no one says on their deathbed that they wish they would have worked harder. Most are inclined to wish they would have enjoyed life—and being with those they knew and loved—a lot more. So have a great week and don’t forget to laugh every day.