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Another big question that I get all the time…
What do you do if you have an unpredictable boss—where you never know who’s going to show up? One day he’s upbeat and happy and thinks you’re great, and the next day you feel like you’re dealing with an ogre. I suggest two things: The first is to get your resume out there, because you might want to go find another place or another boss. The other thing, which is so important, is to never buy into the idea that your self-worth is a function of your performance plus the opinion of others. If you get hooked into that outlook on life, then your self-worth is up for grabs every day. Why? Because nobody’s performance is great every day. Have you ever noticed how fickle people are? They don’t operate the same way every day, either. So one of the things you need to deal with, if you are dealing with someone with an erratic personality, is that God did not make junk. You are absolutely beautiful. Don’t have your whole day depend on how someone else treats you. Remember that you’re a good person who is loved. Maybe that boss doesn’t quite get it yet. But he or she will.
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The concept of power in the workforce has a negative connotation. It brings to mind such associations as coercion, manipulation, and even corruption. This does not have to be the case. Power has many positive aspects, and everyone can learn to explore and harness different sources of the individual power they have in the workplace. By developing their own sources of power, employees will be less dependent on others for the leadership they need and thus be better able to take initiative and make a greater contribution in their jobs.
In our program called Situational Self Leadership, we take a different perspective on power. We suggest that “The sole advantage of power is the ability to do more good.” Thus, if you want to do more good for yourself and more good for the people around you, it is important to learn how to tap into your own points of power.
Points of Power. There are at least five power sources you can develop in any job, all of which relate to each other in varying degrees: Position power, task power, personal power, relationship power, and knowledge power.
Position power is inherent in the authority of the position you have. You have position power when your business card has a title printed on it that indicates you have the power to manage people or command resources. My dad, an officer in the Navy, used to say, “The best leaders are those who have position power and never have to use it.”
Task power is power that stems from being good at a particular task at work and being able to help others with a process or procedure they may need to do.
Personal power comes from your personal character attributes such as strength of character, passion, inspiration, or a personal vision of the future. Personal power is further enhanced by the strength of your interpersonal skills, such as your ability to communicate well and be persuasive with others.
Relationship power comes from association with others through friendship, personal understanding of a colleague, cultivation of a relationship, nepotism, or reciprocity (trading favors).
Knowledge power is about having expertise in an area. This is often through knowing a special skill or group of skills in your job, but is also evidenced by having certain degrees or certifications indicating special training. Knowledge power can often be transferred from job to job or from company to company–it is a general type of power.
Charting Your Points of Power
An enlightening activity is to list a number of workplace situations or conditions where you feel you have the power to influence outcomes or people. Next to each item, categorize the type of power you have in that circumstance.
Now draw a five-pointed star with ten hash marks from the center to the tip of each point. From the center of the star, mark off the corresponding number of responses you listed in your assessment of each type of power. The farthest hash mark you indicate on each arm of the star becomes the new tip of that arm. Connect these new points. The resulting graphic should be some semblance of a star, with certain points having more emphasis and others having less. This will show you at a glance your primary points of power.
If you want to be a real star in the workplace, try to develop a strategy to balance the points of power where you work. Some examples:
· You have high knowledge power due to expertise in analysis and are often asked to analyze situations and report your findings in meetings. However, you are weak in personal power and a poor communicator. Your strategy might be to take a presentation skills course or to ask someone to critique a presentation before you give it to the group.
· You have high task power and need to present an idea to the head of your department, but are somewhat weak in relationship power. Your strategy could be to ask a coworker who has the ear of the department head to give you feedback on how he or she thinks the department head will react to your idea.
· You have task power and are working on a very visible project, but you lack position power, which might make it difficult to get support. Your strategy could be to use your task power to solicit a sponsor or champion who will help promote your project and your credibility.
· You have personal power, but are weak in relationship power. Your strategy might be to use your social skills to network. Ask others for instructions, attend meetings of professional organizations, or schedule lunches to help build relationships.
Take advantage of the points of power where you are strong. Use your power in a positive way to do more good for yourself and those around you. If people throughout your organization are enabled to develop their sources of power, it could create a more even playing field for everyone. Power doesn’t have to be concentrated in the hands of a few.
The holiday season presents some different challenges for leaders. Here is some advice I’ve found can help you to get the most out of this special time.
Get in the holiday spirit. It’s important for leaders to get into the holiday spirit. It’s a wonderful time of the year when people want to feel good and connected to each other. It is a time to capitalize on team building and allow workers to get to know each other better. Yet often managers end up acting like Scrooge by being too busy or demanding of themselves and of their people. Bosses can really ruin the holidays by being grumpy, under stress and too demanding. Try to be a little more lenient, supportive and willing to “go with the flow” in appreciating the time you have and the people you have to work with.
Focus on what has to be done. It’s important during the holidays to be clear with everybody on their key goals. What are the significant things that really have to get done during the holiday season to keep business running as usual? It’s good to write down these goals so that people are better able to work harder earlier in the season if they are going to be less focused later on. This is especially true if, for your business, the holiday season is one of the busiest time of the year.
Be flexible with employees. Be more flexible in terms of the hours your people work, depending on their needs. Is there a way they can have a couple of hours off so they can get some of their shopping done and make the time up later? A lot of people have family and friends fly in and would love to have flexible work hours to accommodate them. How could the company help employees save time? For example, at our company, we have people fill out a form that allows them to mail their packages from our company.
Avoid negative news. Don’t use the holiday season to give employees negative news. It is not a time of the year to catch people doing things wrong, nor it is a time to accent the negative. Instead, do your best to redirect employees without being punitive. Save more substantive performance issues for after the new year. And don’t turn what should be good news into bad news by poor timing. For example, if you are planning to give employees extra days off between Christmas and New Year’s Day, tell them far enough in advance so that they can make plans for that time. Otherwise, they might end up at home watching television and griping about you.
Be sensitive to different religions. Be sensitive to those who don’t celebrate Christmas. You might set aside some time when people could share information about their religious or cultural celebrations. For example, one of our Jewish employees had people who wanted to find out more about the meaning of Hanukkah, the Jewish festival of lights celebration, meet him for lunch.
Be creative about celebrating the season. Your celebration doesn’t have to be lavish for it to be effective. You might want to do an activity rather than hosting a party where everyone just sits around and drinks. It might even allow for more bonding to do something like caroling that allows for a shared experience away from the office. Another fun group activity that we’ve done is to take the time for our work group to read Dickens’ A Christmas Carol together, giving each employee a role to read. Activities such as these can help you avoid getting into the position where you have to worry about serving alcohol to people and having them drive home.
Whenever possible, include families in holiday activities. We had an artist come to our company one year during the holidays to teach everybody how to paint landscapes. There were four sessions and everyone could bring their spouses, kids, and parents. The artist dressed everybody up in French berets and artist aprons. At the end of the activity she touched up the pictures and then we had them framed. It was really a lot of fun.
Have fun with celebrations. Think of fun ways to celebrate the season. I love those parties where everyone buys a three-to-five dollar gift, numbers the gift, and then people pick numbers and open the gifts one at a time. The person opening the gift has the option of keeping what they open or trading it for one of the already opened gifts. That can turn into a pretty lively time! You can also have people exchange funny cards that they have either bought or made. You could even set somebody up to be a “Secret Santa,” leaving anonymous gifts for random employees.
Make the spirit last all year long. A few years ago, after the holiday season had ended, several of our employees at The Ken Blanchard Companies asked, “Why does the spirit have to end at the end of the year?” From that question sprang an employee-run program called “Blanchard for Others” which sponsors local charities and hosts all kinds of fundraising events through the year. Each year they raise tens of thousands of dollars for charity. We now have the holiday spirit year round.
So get in the holiday spirit this year! Go with the flow, lighten up, and enjoy this special time with your employees and with your families.
I have a long-time friend named Walter Green who just wrote a book called This Is the Moment! Walter, in his 70th year, decided he would make a list of the people who really impacted his life at different stages. He had to locate some he had lost contact with, but over the year he traveled the country and met with 44 people to thank them and tell them how important they were to his life. I think the book’s real message is the enormous power of gratitude. Walter wrote this book to motivate all of us.
Are there people in your life who have really made a difference? Have you reached out to thank them? Have you thanked your parents, friends, mentors—perhaps a teacher, professor, or colleague who had an impact on your life? Don’t wait to reach out. This is the moment.
Yesterday, just one day after being inspired by Walter’s book, I had the perfect opportunity to put his idea into action. Every morning, our newspaper delivery person drives through our oval driveway and drops off the paper right at our front door so we don’t have to go to the end of the driveway to retrieve it. I’ve always wanted to thank her for this courtesy, and yesterday morning I saw her through the window just as she was getting out of the car to deliver the paper. I met her at the front door and said, “I just want to tell you how fabulous and caring you are, and what a difference you make, and how much we appreciate what you do,” and I gave her a little money. Her face just lit up and she almost had tears in her eyes as she gave me a hug. She said, “You’re really special,” and I said, “I’m not special. You are.”
This morning, tucked into the newspaper, I found a note from her. On the outside of the envelope was written: “To a great and loyal customer.” This is so consistent with what Blanchard research has found: If you hire passionate people, they want to go out and take care of your customers. Then the customers become loyal and get excited about the company and tell others, and it keeps going back and forth—and that’s what makes a great organization.
On the card inside it said: “Thank you, thank you, thank you. You made my day yesterday. I was flying high on a cloud of appreciation. Your recognition of my service to you has revived me. Thank you for taking the time to think about me.” Then she signed her name and phone number and wrote: “Please call if you ever have a bad or poor quality paper delivered.” Isn’t that amazing? It made me feel good to read her note.
I hope this motivates you to reach out and thank people who have done special things for you—people who have made a difference in your life, whether big or small. If we all took the time to do this, think of the difference we could make in the lives of others. So reach out and say “thank you.” It’s such an easy way to make another person feel special, and it is guaranteed to boost your spirits, too. Have a great week.
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I was talking recently with one of my old friends who is not a man of traditional religious faith. I asked him, “What is your comfort? What is a philosophy you live by?” And he said, “I have always tried throughout my life to do the right thing. I think of the Golden Rule as my faith. I only try to do to other people as I would like to have done to me and I always try to take that into consideration. If all the faiths around the world would practice the Golden Rule, the world would be a different place. I believe our role in life is to treat other people as if they were important individuals and treat them as we would want to be treated.” And I thought that was really powerful.
A large part of being a servant leader and being there for other people is realizing that every human being is important. Even if another person mistreats us, it doesn’t do us any good to lower ourselves to their methods. The concept of turning the other cheek is kind of hard sometimes, but it’s all about not getting hooked into somebody else’s poor behavior. Perhaps it’s easier to just think of it as living by the Golden Rule. I found out from Colleen Barrett that at Southwest Airlines, the Golden Rule is a major part of their company culture and leadership philosophy. Colleen learned that early in her life from her mother, who was a great believer in the Golden Rule.
So this week, as we go out and greet each other and greet customers and family members, just remember: Treat them as if it were you – how would you like to be treated? That’s a pretty great way to live life. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving week.
I believe the biggest addiction problem in the workplace today is the human ego. When people operate from their ego, their behavior tends to be based on fear rather than trust. When people behave out of fear, they have a high need to control others and their environment and they have a win-lose orientation toward everything. Even when discussing the weather they want to make sure you know that they know more about weather than you do. They broadcast a philosophy about life that states “I’m okay, you’re not.”
I discovered this addiction many years ago when my wife Margie was writing a book with Dr. Mark J. Tager entitled Working Well and studying what made a healthy work environment. One of the questions they asked people in their research was, “Can a bad boss make you sick?” A lot of people said, “Yes.” They cited examples such as migraine headaches, ulcers, sleepless nights—even heart attacks and cancer.
I became fascinated by people’s perceptions of bad bosses, so I started asking people around the country to describe the worst boss they had ever worked for. The primary description I heard was that of a high ego-driven person. The worst managers were described as poor listeners who were reluctant to share credit and always wanted to be in the limelight. While a lot of people would think people with a big ego had high self-esteem, I found the opposite to be true: Individuals who operate from their ego are usually covering up “not okay” feelings about themselves. They try to compensate for feelings of inadequacy by overpowering others and controlling their environment.
Why do I feel ego addiction is so harmful to the business community? Because it is holding back progress in organizations. Companies all over the country are having difficulties moving toward being the kind of organization they need to be to make it in this economy. Companies today need to be customer driven, cost effective, fast and flexible, and continually improving. To do this we need high-trust environments. And yet, throughout the work world managers are hesitant to empower others and give them a chance to have more responsibility and take initiative to make decisions. The people who are fearful and holding back support of these changes in business are those who are operating from their ego. They fear loss of power and control.
People who are hung up on their egos and who operate out of fear really need love. Yet it’s hard to love these people because they don’t seem very lovable. Instead, folks with big egos seem to be demanding, self-centered, and unsatisfied. They feel better about themselves when they can make others feel inferior. Fortunately, their attempts don’t have to be successful. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
Just because someone has power doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a need to feel appreciated. When was the last time you caught your boss doing something right? When was the last time you gave your boss a hug? I’m not necessarily talking about a physical hug—even a psychological hug can help. Thank her for her support or for doing a good job on a certain task. In my sessions I ask people who are parents whether their love for their kids depends on their kids’ achievements. Rarely does a hand go up. We love our children without any contingencies—it’s called unconditional love. I think the same approach is needed in the workplace today. We need to learn to trust and respect others, even if we sometimes have a problem with their behavior. If we can help everyone in the workforce feel good about themselves and raise their self-esteem, we’ll have more people willing to share power by permitting others to take initiative, make decisions, and let work teams be the main vehicle for decision making. To overcome ego addiction, people have to get in touch with their own worthiness. If it’s hard for them, others can help.
Everyone in organizations should set a goal to maintain or enhance the self-esteem of the people with whom they interact, for the benefit of all. Big egos can be tamed with the right amount of tender loving care.
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It amazes me how seriously some people in business take themselves. It’s as if they have come to the conclusion that who they are or what they are doing is so important that there should be no time for anything as frivolous as laughter. This is a sad outlook on life.
I tell people who work with me to take their work seriously and themselves lightly. In doing so, they are better apt to have a sense of perspective about what they are doing that is balanced, and an openness to suggestions and new ideas I often find missing from those who are more tunnel-visioned and only focused on business. A sense of humor serves as a pressure valve that can keep you enjoying your work even when times are stressful. I find it a preferred alternative to developing an ulcer or migraine headache. In fact, it is one of the best ways I know to get you through stressful times on the job.
I have found three useful methods for keeping a sense of humor.
1) Take time for yourself. You should take time to relax and enjoy yourself some every day. What this means will vary from person to person. It may be reading a magazine, taking a walk, practicing yoga, or playing with your children. I personally recommend skipping. I believe that it’s impossible to skip and not enjoy yourself—and people who see you will probably laugh as well. (Unfortunately, I’m afraid my own skipping days are over now that I have two “bionic” hips!) I also recommend easing into your day—that is, getting up an extra 30 to 45 minutes earlier each morning so you don’t have to “jolt and bolt” like a race horse out of the starting gate. If you are too busy to take some time for yourself, you will inevitably start to expect others you work with to do as you do, and stress will result for both you and your people.
2) Set an example. Let others you work with know that it’s okay to joke with you by sharing your own sense of humor. I think the best humor is self-deprecating, because it’s never at someone else’s expense. For example, when I’m with a group having a good time at work I love to say something like, “Hey, if I’m in charge here, how come everyone’s laughing?”
If you are a manager, CEO, or business owner, you have a great amount of influence in setting the tone of the work environment. You need to show that it’s okay to have fun at work and to celebrate successes when they occur. For example, once to celebrate record sales halfway through our fiscal year, we closed the company and took employees to the beach for some fun in the sun. We took time to explain our company’s financials and why we were celebrating—and what it would mean to each employee in terms of gain sharing if our sales and profit rate continued.
3) When you find yourself stressed about something, ask yourself, “What difference will this make in 100 years?” You guessed it: No difference. So why get stressed about it now? Instead, make a plan and take positive steps toward your goals in a way that is reasonable for both yourself and those around you.
I use another perspective-setting technique that I call my “zoo mentality.” I developed this when my children Scott and Debbie were growing up. I noticed that whenever we were at a park or zoo I’d see parents yelling at their children for running around misbehaving and generally having a good time. It seemed crazy to me to take your children to a place to have fun with them and then spend all your time yelling at them! I decided what was called for was to get into a different frame of mind that I dubbed my “zoo mentality” when I wanted to have fun. Then if the kids started acting silly or chasing each other I’d be more inclined to join the fun myself. I still use this technique occasionally when attending company meetings.
The way I see it, everything is on loan—the skills we have, the opportunities to use those skills, and the impact we are able to make in this life. I’ve had good fortune in my life and I am thankful for it. I have yet to meet the person who does not have some good fortunes in his or her life. Even during dreadful times in your life and work, there is always a positive side if you take the time to look for it. Once you have this perspective it is difficult to have what I call “false pride,” in which you feel the world revolves around you.
Remember, no one says on their deathbed that they wish they would have worked harder. Most are inclined to wish they would have enjoyed life—and being with those they knew and loved—a lot more. So have a great week and don’t forget to laugh every day.
I often have people come up to me after I’ve given a speech and say, “Boy, would I love to be able to do that for a living—go around the country and give speeches.” When I ask them why they don’t, they say, “Oh, I could never do that.”
Did you know that the fear of public speaking is higher on the list of fears than the fear of death? This probably doesn’t surprise any of you who have dreaded having to make a presentation. Some individuals have such an aversion to public speaking that they may even decline career opportunities based on the chance that they will have to speak in front of others. While this may seem startling or sad, the truth of the matter is that public speaking is a learnable skill. People who feel inadequate about themselves in front of a group can learn to become good speakers.
I firmly believe there are three things that can impact your performance in public speaking: body language, routine, and your belief system.
Body Language. If you want to become a good public speaker, closely watch other public speakers to see what they do and how they carry their body. For example, I have observed that good public speakers walk with their shoulders back and their heads high and use a lot of hand and arm gestures. If you are nervous, hold your head up and your shoulders back and say, “I am feeling good. I am feeling really good.” Silly as it may seem, this actually works. The mind does not know the difference between what it perceives and what you tell it to perceive. Think of a time when you were feeling very confident and productive in some area in your life. How did you act? How did you walk? How did you talk? What did you do? It’s pretty hard to feel inadequate if you walk and act like you know what you’re doing.
Routine. What is the routine people use when they make a presentation? When you see a good bowler, for example, they always start at the same mark, take the same number of steps, and release the ball in the same way. By getting a routine established, you signal your brain that all is well. If the material I’m speaking on is new to me, I try to practice it several times with others—friends, employees, family—prior to delivering it to a group I don’t know. I get feedback each time, and I try to think of questions audience members are likely to have while I’m speaking. I also use notes until the information becomes second nature to me. Before I give a speech, I usually engage in deep breathing and a quick review of what I plan to say, which I may do with someone I’m with just prior to my presentation. When I get on my feet, the first thing I do is tell some funny story that gets the audience relaxed and gets me relaxed. Then I can get into my speech. Now a lot of people tell me, “But I’m not good at telling jokes.” Well, this too can be learned. Experiment with what works best for you in breaking the ice with a group.
Belief System. Finally, what are the thoughts and beliefs that you have about public speaking? The late, great speech coach Dorothy Sarnoff used to suggest repeating these words to yourself before giving a speech: “I’m glad I’m here. I’m glad you’re here. I know what I know and I care about you.” Repeating these thoughts can change your belief system so that you actually become glad you are there and glad the audience is there. You know what you know and you can then stop worrying about not being good enough or perhaps not being able to answer a question that is asked. When you focus on caring about the people in the audience, it becomes difficult to be fearful of the same group or of the situation. Once you start saying this over and over, it will have a tremendous impact on your level of confidence.
After applying these principles, you need to practice, practice, practice to hone your skill. Seek opportunities to make presentations or join a Toastmasters International club in your area. It will then only be a matter of time before you can perform as a professional and experience the joy and excitement of sharing your thoughts and helping others in the process. Good luck!
