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When reprimanding, what you do is often not as important as what you don’t do. Since no one really enjoys a reprimand, it’s easy for people to be put on the defensive when receiving criticism. I suggest remembering these “don’ts” when you must reprimand an individual. If you don’t observe these points, you may find that people become less concerned with listening to you and more concerned with fighting you off. Read the rest of this entry »
A lot of managers don’t realize it, but one of their responsibilities is to be an educator. The problem is that not all managers are born teachers. For those who want to be good teachers, here’s a five-step method for developing those necessary teaching skills.
The five basic steps to good teaching/training are: 1. Tell; 2. Show; 3. Try; 4. Observe; and 5. Praise or Redirect. Knowing and following these five steps won’t make everyone a great teacher, but using them ensures that the learner will be able to accomplish what he or she is taught. Read the rest of this entry »
I was once involved in a corporate study where criticizing and praising were actually tabulated and the reactions measured. Look at what we found: When there was one praising for each criticism, people felt as though they had a totally negative relationship with their boss. When the ratio was changed to two praisings to one reprimand, people still thought their boss was all over them. It wasn’t until we got to a ratio of four praisings to one criticism that people began to feel as if they had a good relationship with their boss. Read the rest of this entry »
Recently I spent some time with Tom Crum and his daughter, Alia. Tom’s a good buddy of ours and is an Aikido expert. He wrote a wonderful book called Three Deep Breaths. I think I probably have shared these at some point but they are worth repeating… You know, as you head off any day in the car – I think the car is a wonderful place to quiet yourself if you don’t listen to the radio.
The first breath is the Centering Breath – you just breathe in, into your center right below your belly button. Just center yourself and feel your breath. Read the rest of this entry »
Some of you might know that I’m good friends with Colleen Barrett, who stepped down as President of Southwest Airlines two years ago. It’s interesting – at Southwest Airlines, they say that all of their people are leaders, including those who don’t have management positions. It’s because they think everyone can have a positive impact on others. That’s consistent with the way we at Blanchard define leadership—it’s an influence process. Anytime you’re trying to influence the thinking, beliefs, or development of someone else, you’re engaging in leadership. I think the reason people like the title of The One Minute Manager better than if it had been called The One Minute Leader was that a lot of people don’t think of themselves as leaders. When I do sessions, sometimes I’ll ask big groups of managers, “How many of you think of yourself as a leader?” and less than one-third of them raise their hands. Somehow they think the word leader is reserved for high-level positions like Presidents and CEOs. In reality, when I ask folks to list influential people in their lives who have impacted them the most, they very seldom mention managers or supervisors at work. They usually talk about parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, coaches, or teachers. So there are life-role leadership roles as well as organizational leadership roles. It’s an interesting thing.
So I want every one of you to remember that you are a leader. Each of you has the ability to influence other people, whether it’s a coworker, a kid at home, a spouse, or a friend. Because anytime you attempt to influence the thinking, beliefs, or development of someone else, you are engaging in leadership. So we’re all leaders. It’s just a challenge to get people to think that way. So be good to yourself. Be a good leader this week. Impact people in a positive way for the greater good!
In the book Everyone’s a Coach that I wrote with Don Shula, we came up with an acronym that may really help you think about how you’re doing as parents and managers and volunteers in the community. You can use this in just about any area of your life.
- C stands for Conviction-Driven: Do people understand what your values are and where you’re going? Because leadership is about going somewhere. Lead with conviction.
- O stands for Overlearning: There’s no such thing as teaching a good thing too much. You want to prepare your people so much that they really know their responsibilities and they can make something good happen. It’s important to keep telling your people and your kids and anyone else you may have influence over: If you’re going to do something, do your best.
- A stands for Audible-Ready: Don’t get stuck with a plan if for some reason it’s not working. Let people bring their brains to work; let your kids use their brains, too. Be open to the thoughts of others. Be ready to change your mind if a new and better idea comes along.
- C stands for Consistency: This isn’t about behaving in the same way all the time; it’s about behaving the same way in similar circumstances. Be consistent. Praise progress and cheer people on when they’re doing well. If there’s a problem, you can redirect them and get them back to their goals. If it’s somebody who’s dragging their feet who knows better, give them a little one-minute reprimand that will get their attention. But always end it with a reaffirmation that you know they’re better than that.
- H stands for Honesty-Based: This one is all about walking your values. Act with integrity at all times.
This is a wonderful little checklist for all of us in terms of: Are we leading with conviction? Are we really trying to always do our best? Are we adaptable and innovative and ready to change? Are we consistent in our behavior and are we walking our talk? Something to think about this week.
Jim Steffen was a graduate student of ours at U. Mass. He wrote a book called Aligned Thinking and has been helping us work through some of his way of thinking. The most important concept Jim talks about is MIN—which is “Most Important Now.” He says that the way you really enjoy life the most is to decide: What am I going to do right now? What is this hour about? How can I focus my energy so what I’m doing right now is the most important thing I can do, so I’m not in the midst of one thing and thinking about doing something else? You know, my mind is all over the place. I know a lot of us like to multitask and all those kinds of things. But it’s great if you can get in the MIN attitude and think, okay, I’m going into this particular meeting. Where does this fit into my life? What am I trying to do? How can I get into the mindset that this is the most important moment right now, and really focus in on it? It’s the same way with people. Try to just focus in on people for three or four minutes and just be there for them. This is the most important thing right now – this is a MIN relationship. So what I’m trying to do, first thing in the morning, is to look at the day and see how I can plan what I’m supposed to be doing and how I can get my mind set on the most important thing I ought to do. It’s a wonderful little concept and thought about focus in life. So I thought I’d throw it out for you today.
There is a Positive Psychology course that Margie and I have been taking that is really interesting. We ran into a guy named Nathaniel Branden, who wrote about the six pillars of self-confidence. His big theme is nobody’s coming. If you are thinking about someone who is going to get you out of a situation, and you’re waiting for them to take all the action, the reality is that people can do things, but nobody is really coming. What are you going to do? One thing that’s interesting is the difference between passive victims—people who are in a situation and immediately go to self-pity—“This is really tough.” Then they want to point fingers and blame other people. This leads to frustration, and eventually anger, and things kind of spiral down that way. This is the passive victim that somehow thinks their fate is in somebody else’s hands, versus the active agent who takes action—“Okay, this is tough, but what am I going to do? What can I do in my area? What ideas do I have?” They are willing to take responsibility, which is being able to respond, and give suggestions that will help. They have a feeling of confidence—“Somehow we’re going to make it through this thing together.” This leads to hope and optimism. We all need to take action—what can we do to help? Let’s work on responsibility. I have confidence and hope. What is it that makes some people be able to pull out of tough times? It’s all about resiliency. So remember—we’re all responsible somewhat for the condition we’re in. So be an active agent, not a passive victim. Life is a very special occasion. Don’t miss it with a lot of negative energy.
Occasionally Margie and I lead a couples’ workshop that lasts a day and a half. It’s really interesting—you might say, “What does leadership training have to do with couples in a marriage relationship?” It is such a powerful thing, we found out, because as a lot of you know, we define leadership as an influence process. Anytime you’re trying to influence the thinking, beliefs, or development of another person, you are engaging in leadership. When you ask people about the most influential people in their lives, they don’t normally mention bosses at work. They talk about their mother, father, grandfather, uncle, or a coach or teacher. There is a lot of life role leadership that goes on, informally, in families and in friendships and all. Leadership in the home is life role leadership. It’s probably the most important leadership role you could ever have.
In our work, you know we say that leadership is a transformational journey starting with self leadership, then moving to one-on-one leadership, then to team leadership, and then to organizational leadership. And as we look at families, it becomes really clear that self leadership really starts with just finding out who you are and whose you are, and getting perspective on your life. Then you move to a marriage relationship, and that’s when you’re trying to influence each other, one on one. Then when kids come along—now we’re talking about team leadership. How do you build a community? How do you get people to recognize that none of us is as smart as all of us, and really create that team environment? And then the organizational leadership of a family would be the extended family. What do you do with your in-laws and outlaws and cousins and that whole thing? That’s something most people don’t think about as a leadership position, and yet in a family, it’s a whole different element. So it’s kind of fascinating. Through our training we realize that these concepts apply at home as much as they do in business. So learning how to be a good leader is good for everyone.
