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In my last blog I talked about walking toward wisdom as one of the four major areas of growth for leaders and aspiring leaders, along with gaining knowledge, reaching out to others, and opening your world. During your lifelong pursuit of wisdom, it is necessary to do a thorough self evaluation and also to be continually open to honest feedback from others. In addition, you must seek out the counsel of those with more wisdom and experience than yourself.
I love the concept that feedback is about the past and counsel is about the future. My friend Marshall Goldsmith, who is a great author, says that even when some people aren’t too excited about feedback, they are excited about what he calls “feedforward.” He has a great exercise where he has people get up and walk around the room and think about something they would like to accomplish this year. He has them go one on one with each other and ask, “Do you have any advice for me?” They move around and meet ten or twelve people and get advice and counsel from everyone.
Receiving counsel from others is about what lies ahead and is a tremendous opportunity to benefit from someone else’s wisdom. We can gain the most if we are open minded and guard our heart against pride and arrogance. Over time, what we learn from the counsel of others will add to our own store of wisdom.
Work with a mentor or mentors—particularly those who are further down the road than you are. Borrow from their wisdom and experience. A mentor is someone who has “been there and done that.” One of the best ways to learn from a mentor’s experience and wisdom is to ask profound questions. You’ll be surprised what you’ll learn. For instance, ask an open-ended question such as, “What decisions in your life have made the greatest contribution to your success?” “What books have had the greatest impact in your life?” “What are the biggest lessons you’ve learned so far in your career?” Start making a list of profound questions such as these, and then look for opportunities to ask those questions. When you ask a profound question and listen—really listen—to the answer, that’s when the learning really soaks in. In my seminars I try to encourage more interaction by asking participants questions and then having them interact with others around them. That’s when learning really seems to come alive for everyone involved.
A commitment to pursuing wisdom will enhance your leadership—but don’t expect to become wise overnight! Walking toward wisdom is a lifelong journey. Every step you take will enhance your growth and bring you closer to your final destiny. So decide today: I will Walk Toward Wisdom.
As are many of my books, Great Leaders Grow is an easy-to-read parable with an enduring message. If you read The Secret – What Great Leaders Know and Do, my first book with Mark Miller, you will be familiar with the characters in Great Leaders Grow. If you enjoy it, pass it around to other folks who may be able to benefit from it, and then leave a comment here to let me know what you think. Remember, everyone is a leader and everyone needs to keep growing. Mark and I hope that Great Leaders Grow will fuel your passion to grow for the rest of your life.
For the next few blog postings, I want to answer some questions that I’ve received numerous times over the years. Let’s start with the big one: What do I need to do to reach my goal of being a CEO?
Some young people have the goal that they want to run some big operation someday and they ask me how they can get there. I tell them it’s by not worrying about getting there. Be the best at what you’re doing right now. You don’t get promoted because you’re thinking about the next position and what you’re going to do there, you get promoted because you’re doing a tremendous job at what you’re currently being asked to do. People will notice that, and then they’re going to give you opportunities. When you do get the next opportunity, your focus needs to be on that opportunity—how can I be the best at doing this job? And gradually, over time, if you give your best efforts to everything that is asked of you, you’ll be amazed at how steadily you make it up the hierarchy. And someday, you’ll be running the place—not because you’ve got power, but because you’re somebody who’s a good performer. And people will believe in you because, just maybe, you can help other people perform well, too. So there’s nothing wrong with setting goals, but remember—live in the present, not the future. Do the best you can do at the job you have and new opportunities will present themselves.
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At The Ken Blanchard Companies, most of our work in the past focused on leader behavior and how to improve leadership style and methods. We attempted to change leaders from the outside. But through the years we have become convinced that effective leadership starts with self perception—it’s an inside job. It is a question of the heart. It’s all about leadership character and intention. Why are you leading? Is it to serve or be served? Answering this question in a truthful way is so important, because you can’t fake being a servant leader. We believe that if leaders don’t get the heart part right, they simply won’t ever become servant leaders.
The most persistent barrier to being a servant leader is a heart motivated by self interest that looks at the world as a “give a little, take a lot” proposition. Leaders with hearts motivated by self interest put their own agenda, safety, status, and gratification ahead of others who are affected by their thoughts and actions.
In a sense, developing a “servant’s heart” is a lifelong journey. It is my belief that you finally become an adult when you realize that life is about what you give rather than what you get. The shift from self-serving leadership to leadership that serves others is motivated by a change in heart. Servant leadership is not just another management technique. It is a way of life for those with servant’s hearts.
When some people hear the phrase servant leadership, they associate it with “soft management”—they think you can’t lead and serve at the same time. Yet you can, if you understand that there are two kinds of leadership involved in servant leadership: strategic leadership and operational leadership.
Strategic leadership has to do with vision and direction. This is the leadership aspect of servant leadership. The responsibility for this visionary role falls to the hierarchical leadership. Kids look to their parents, players look to their coaches, and people look to their organizational leaders for direction.
Once people are clear on where they are going, the leader’s role shifts to a service mindset for the operational leadership task, which is all about implementation—the servant aspect of servant leadership. How do you make your vision happen? In a traditional organization, all the energy in the organization moves up the hierarchical pyramid as people try to be responsive to their bosses instead of focusing their energy on meeting the needs of their customers. Bureaucracy rules, and policies and procedures carry the day. This creates unprepared and uncommitted customer contact people who are trying to protect themselves and it leaves customers uncared for at the bottom of the hierarchy. This scenario doesn’t do much to move the organization in the desired direction toward accomplishing a clear vision. Servant leaders, on the other hand, feel their role is to help people achieve their goals. To do that, the traditional hierarchical pyramid is theoretically turned upside down so that the frontline people, who are closest to the customers, are at the top. Now the frontline people are responsible—able to respond—to the needs of the customers. In this scenario, leaders serve and are responsive to their people’s needs, training and developing them to accomplish established goals and live according to the vision.
Servant leadership is not soft management; it is management that not only gets great results but also generates great human satisfaction.
If you are interested in learning more about Servant Leadership, I will be speaking at the Servant Leadership Institute Winter Conference on February 1st-3rd in San Diego. For more information, or to buy tickets, please visit their website at http://sli2011winterconference.eventbrite.com/. See you there!
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Do you ever go home feeling that you’ve spent the whole day doing jobs on other people’s “to do” lists instead of your own? Do you feel that you’re doing more but accomplishing less? Your life may seem out of control, but it doesn’t have to be if you learn the art of monkey management.
Several years ago I had a chance to work with the leading expert of monkey management, Bill Oncken, Jr., who authored, with Don Wass, one of the all-time best-selling articles published by the Harvard Business Review entitled Managing Management Time: Who’s Got the Monkey? Bill and I joined forces with Hal Burrows to write The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey (Morrow, 1989). It was a fabulous experience and I learned quite a few things about managing monkeys that still hold true today.
For those of you who are still scratching your head, allow me to explain. A “monkey” is the next move after two individuals meet, as illustrated here: Say you meet an employee in the hallway. He says, “Can I see you for a minute? We have a problem.” He explains; you listen; time flies. Twenty minutes later you know enough about the problem to realize you’ll have to be involved, but you don’t know enough to make a decision. So you say, “This is very important, but I don’t have time to discuss it now. Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.”
The detached observer understands what just happened, but when you’re in the middle, it’s harder to see the big picture. Before you met your staff member in that hall, the monkey was on his back. While you were talking, the matter was under joint consideration, so the monkey had one leg on each of your backs. But when you said, “Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you,” the monkey moved squarely onto your back.
The problem may have been part of your employee’s job, and he may have been perfectly capable of proposing a solution. But when you allowed that monkey to leap onto your back, you volunteered to do two things that this person was generally expected to do as part of his job: (1) You accepted the responsibility for the problem, and (2) you promised him a progress report. Just be sure it’s clear who’s in charge now, your staff member will stop in on you several times the next few days to say, “Hi! How’s it coming?” If you haven’t resolved the matter to your employee’s satisfaction, he may begin to pressure you to do what is actually his job.
To avoid this travesty, monkey management is necessary.
Managers must be careful not to pick up other people’s monkeys. When they do, they broadcast the message that the employees lack the skills to care for and feed the monkeys themselves. Managers who grab monkeys off their people’s backs often kill employee initiative, and everyone is left waiting for the boss to “make the next move.”
Nobody wins when you take care of other people’s monkeys. You become a hassled manager and don’t feel very good about yourself. And you have workers who look to satisfy their needs elsewhere, because they feel underutilized and unappreciated. They often become dependent upon the boss. The care and feeding of other people’s monkeys is the ultimate lose/lose deal.
Bill Oncken, Jr. developed four rules of monkey management to help managers give back monkeys without being accused of buck-passing or abdication. They are:
1. Describe the monkey. The dialogue between a manager and a staff member must not end until appropriate next moves have been identified and clearly specified.
2. Assign the monkey. All monkeys shall be owned and handled at the lowest organizational level possible.
3. Insure the monkey. Every monkey leaving you on the back of one of your people must be covered by one of two insurance policies: (1) recommend, then act, or (2) act, then advise.
4. Check on the monkey. Proper follow-up means healthier monkeys. Every monkey should have a checkup appointment.
If you follow Oncken’s rules, you’ll stop viewing your people as the major source of your problems and will soon start seeing them as major solutions, because each of their backs can be a depository for several monkeys.
Try monkey management—it works!
I often have people come up to me after I’ve given a speech and say, “Boy, would I love to be able to do that for a living—go around the country and give speeches.” When I ask them why they don’t, they say, “Oh, I could never do that.”
Did you know that the fear of public speaking is higher on the list of fears than the fear of death? This probably doesn’t surprise any of you who have dreaded having to make a presentation. Some individuals have such an aversion to public speaking that they may even decline career opportunities based on the chance that they will have to speak in front of others. While this may seem startling or sad, the truth of the matter is that public speaking is a learnable skill. People who feel inadequate about themselves in front of a group can learn to become good speakers.
I firmly believe there are three things that can impact your performance in public speaking: body language, routine, and your belief system.
Body Language. If you want to become a good public speaker, closely watch other public speakers to see what they do and how they carry their body. For example, I have observed that good public speakers walk with their shoulders back and their heads high and use a lot of hand and arm gestures. If you are nervous, hold your head up and your shoulders back and say, “I am feeling good. I am feeling really good.” Silly as it may seem, this actually works. The mind does not know the difference between what it perceives and what you tell it to perceive. Think of a time when you were feeling very confident and productive in some area in your life. How did you act? How did you walk? How did you talk? What did you do? It’s pretty hard to feel inadequate if you walk and act like you know what you’re doing.
Routine. What is the routine people use when they make a presentation? When you see a good bowler, for example, they always start at the same mark, take the same number of steps, and release the ball in the same way. By getting a routine established, you signal your brain that all is well. If the material I’m speaking on is new to me, I try to practice it several times with others—friends, employees, family—prior to delivering it to a group I don’t know. I get feedback each time, and I try to think of questions audience members are likely to have while I’m speaking. I also use notes until the information becomes second nature to me. Before I give a speech, I usually engage in deep breathing and a quick review of what I plan to say, which I may do with someone I’m with just prior to my presentation. When I get on my feet, the first thing I do is tell some funny story that gets the audience relaxed and gets me relaxed. Then I can get into my speech. Now a lot of people tell me, “But I’m not good at telling jokes.” Well, this too can be learned. Experiment with what works best for you in breaking the ice with a group.
Belief System. Finally, what are the thoughts and beliefs that you have about public speaking? The late, great speech coach Dorothy Sarnoff used to suggest repeating these words to yourself before giving a speech: “I’m glad I’m here. I’m glad you’re here. I know what I know and I care about you.” Repeating these thoughts can change your belief system so that you actually become glad you are there and glad the audience is there. You know what you know and you can then stop worrying about not being good enough or perhaps not being able to answer a question that is asked. When you focus on caring about the people in the audience, it becomes difficult to be fearful of the same group or of the situation. Once you start saying this over and over, it will have a tremendous impact on your level of confidence.
After applying these principles, you need to practice, practice, practice to hone your skill. Seek opportunities to make presentations or join a Toastmasters International club in your area. It will then only be a matter of time before you can perform as a professional and experience the joy and excitement of sharing your thoughts and helping others in the process. Good luck!
A lot of people ask me for advice about partnerships. Many will tell me about a “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” that a friend or associate has shared with them and asked if they’d like to participate. Often, the opportunity involves either investing a significant amount of time or money, or a dramatic shift into a new career path, or both.
My advice to such individuals is simple. First, I often ask them if it is something they really want to do; that is, do they truly enjoy this activity to the extent that they might even consider doing it without pay? For someone to be successful at something, they first need to truly enjoy that activity—otherwise, they are likely not to have enough persistence during times of difficulty. To me, enjoying what you are doing is an acid test in business as well as life. If you are having fun, it’s more likely that you will confuse work with play and that you will be successful at that activity.
Second, whenever considering getting into a partnership, you should always ask yourself the question: “Could either of us do this without the other person?” (Have the other individual in the potential partnership ask the same question.) If either of you answer “yes,” or even “maybe,” seriously reexamine the need for the partnership. If you’re uncertain as to how necessary the other person is in a new venture at the very best of times—the beginning—you will certainly doubt and likely regret your mutual involvement down the line; perhaps sooner rather than later. If there’s a good chance you could do the activity on your own, go for it! Life is apt to be a lot simpler if you do.
In a partnership, both individuals involved need to bring something to the party—and each person needs to recognize and value the other person’s contribution. If the importance of each person’s role isn’t clearly recognized upfront, it most assuredly will be valued even less later. In the event of failure, individuals often are quick to blame the other person for shortcomings. In the event of success, most people are apt to feel the success was mainly a result of their own efforts. These reactions are human nature. A clear initial understanding, agreement, and belief in what each person is contributing to the success of a joint venture will go a long way toward minimizing exaggerated perceptions and expectations of effort and worth at a later date.
Third, a piece of common sense advice I truly believe regarding partnerships is that to be effective you need more than a 50-50 effort of both parties; you need 100-100 percent effort. Both parties need to give the venture 100 percent. Fifty percent effort is only half-hearted! If you are no more excited about the opportunity at hand than to feel you are only responsible for 50 percent of the effort, the partnership is doomed from the start. I feel that 100 percent effort needs to be given 100 percent of the time by both parties in any partnership. Such an all-out commitment forces you to move ahead at full speed in making the venture a success. It forces you to rely on yourself, not someone else, to make things happen. It also affords you the ability to give the other person the benefit of the doubt when his or her effort, interest, or time spent seems to be less than ideal.
I have found that it is many times more difficult to break up a partnership—especially if you want to do so on good terms—than it is to start one. By following these simple rules of thumb, you might save yourself some unpleasantness (and possibly a friend) in the process!
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I recently saw a wonderful piece about “If I Had My Life to Live Over.” I thought it was worth sharing with you. It’s from the late Nadine Stair of Louisville, Kentucky, who wrote it when she was 85 years old:
If I had my life to live over again,
I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax.
I’d limber up. Read the rest of this entry »
Recently I spent some time with Tom Crum and his daughter, Alia. Tom’s a good buddy of ours and is an Aikido expert. He wrote a wonderful book called Three Deep Breaths. I think I probably have shared these at some point but they are worth repeating… You know, as you head off any day in the car – I think the car is a wonderful place to quiet yourself if you don’t listen to the radio.
The first breath is the Centering Breath – you just breathe in, into your center right below your belly button. Just center yourself and feel your breath. Read the rest of this entry »
