Charles Handy is an Irish writer and good friend who looks at himself as a “social philosopher.” He has written wonderful things on leadership and organizations. My wife Margie and I had dinner with him and his wife Elizabeth recently. They do something very interesting—they help people decide who they are and where they are going in life, and they put it into photographs. One of the processes was interesting and I would love you all to think about it: What three roles do you have in life? One could be as a father or mother, one could be a salesperson, or a golfer, or whatever—I don’t know. And if you were going to design a picture, where would you place those roles in the room? What would be in the front of the picture, what would be in the middle, and what would be in the back? How you arrange these roles in the picture is really how you are rank-ordering them in your life. Then stop and really take a look at your present life and what you are spending your time on. Some people might put their role as a parent up front, and yet they are really not spending the time they should on that. One man had his role as an executive way in the back of his photo, and he had being a writer and a poet in the front. After he looked at it, he ended up quitting his job and concentrating on what he said he really loved to do—write poetry and also be with his family. So it’s interesting. What three roles do you have and where would you want to put them in a picture? I’m going to think about mine and I would love for you to think about your own.
Archive for the ‘Change’ Category
Your Roles In Life
Posted by Ken on November 30, 2009
Posted in Change, Commitment, Happiness, Life, Love, Optimism | Tagged: Life, roles | 1 Comment »
Be Audible Ready
Posted by Ken on November 9, 2009
My wife Margie and I needed to fly to New York in early September, and we had made a plan that we weren’t going to fly on September 11. But you know, life is not always in your own hands. I learned that from Don Shula really clearly when he talked about the importance of being audible-ready. That means you have to have a plan, but when plans go awry, you have to be able to “call an audible.” You have to go with the flow.
So on September 10 when we were on our way to our first stop in Dallas, there were all kinds of problems with the Dallas airport, and we had to land in Oklahoma City because we had to get more gas. We eventually got to Dallas at about nine o’clock that night. Of course, our connecting flight to New York had already taken off. So we stayed at the airport hotel right there. The next morning, September 11, we flew safely to New York City. I think one of the things that makes you relax and be more easy in life is if you have an audible-ready attitude. Shula said that when you call an audible in football, it doesn’t mean you don’t have a plan. When things change, you just have to call a different play. You can’t get all uptight and ticked off because you didn’t get to go with your original plan. Some people at the airport were really bent out of shape because their plans were changed. They got themselves all out of whack about something they couldn’t control. So sometimes things change and you have to just go with the flow.
Posted in Change, Conflict, Happiness, Leadership, Life, Making Mistakes, Optimism | 1 Comment »
Keep Up
Posted by Ken on November 2, 2009
One thought we have to keep at the top of mind is we are going to make it through this challenging time, and we’re going to do it together. We are. And we can’t get discouraged. We’re figuring this out together. Positive thinkers are winners. Why? Because they get positive results. And we’re going to get those. It’s going to be a story. It’s going to be a celebration. So don’t get down—keep up. We’re doing it all the time. You have a great, positive day, and remember we can do everything together. Remember that quote, “None of us is as smart as all of us.”
Posted in Change, Communication, Economy, Happiness, Leadership, Optimism | 4 Comments »
Staying Peaceful
Posted by Ken on October 19, 2009
I have a great saying for you today that my friend Pat Zigarmi gave me last year when I was recovering from my hip surgery. This is a good one for all of us:
“Peace: It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”
How is that? That’s really pretty powerful. Because with all the stress and the movement with the economy and everybody working hard and all, you have to find a way to stay peaceful in the midst of turmoil. That happens by quieting yourself periodically as you work through the day and know that you’re doing good things—you’re making a difference in people’s lives. Calm yourself down, take a few deep breaths, and recognize that peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. Have a great day.
Posted in Change, Communication, Economy, Happiness, Health, Life, Optimism, Passion | 1 Comment »
Trust
Posted by Ken on October 12, 2009
Something that’s so important in changing organizations for the better is the whole concept of trust. As I’ve said before, trust and respect go together. There are some real trust issues that people are dealing with out there. Sometimes people are not sure that the leader necessarily respects them and seeks their opinions. The leader could even be making an effort to do that, but people may be suspicious because of past leaders. It’s so important. It doesn’t do you any good to be concerned or have an issue about something and not let the person working with you, or someone else, know about it, so something can be done about it. As the CEO of WD-40 Company, Garry Ridge, says, everything is a learning opportunity if it’s an issue we can learn from. So I hope you really listen to your people, respect them, and ask their opinions. Treat everyone you work with as teammates in this tough economic time, so you can trust each other and work together toward what you’re trying to accomplish. I love the old saying that there’s no “I” in TEAM, because it’s so true.
Posted in Change, Communication, Conflict, Ethics, Feedback, Leadership, Optimism, Passion, Servant Leadership, Trust | 3 Comments »
There Is No Hall of Fame For Critics
Posted by Ken on September 21, 2009
A great comment I heard recently from our consultant, Tommy Moore, was: “There is no hall of fame for critics,” Ha! I just love that. A lot of times, people are really good at taking shots at what other people are doing. That’s not really very helpful. Redirection is so much different than criticism: Here’s something that has happened, here’s how it has impacted things, here’s what would really help next time, and I’m still excited about working with you. That’s really kind of a nice thing. But we also have to remember, if you do ever get criticism, that feedback is the breakfast of champions, as Rick Tate always used to say. The best response to any kind of criticism, if you get it, is: “Tell me more. Is there anyone else I should talk to? Oh, this is so helpful.” That will really blow people’s minds because you won’t be defensive or anything. You won’t get your ego in the way. Don’t criticize yourself or other people. Give ‘em a hug. That’s what they could really use.
Posted in Change, Conflict, Education, Feedback, Happiness, Health, Leadership, Making Mistakes, Optimism, Relationships, Servant Leadership, Teamwork | 1 Comment »
Nature’s Beauty
Posted by Ken on August 10, 2009
Have you seen the moon recently? It was absolutely incredible. And last night when the sun was about to set, we went out on the deck and watched the sun set. It was just unbelievable. I was just struck by all the fabulous things that are free—Looking at the moon at night, a sunset, going over to the beach and sitting and watching the waves, or sitting down and enjoying the view of the mountains and hills, or walking through the woods and enjoying the flowers. Hearing the cry of a newborn baby—just wonderful, wonderful things that really are free.
Rabbi Kushner, who wrote When Bad Things Happen to Good People, wrote a wonderful book called Why God? In that book he tells about, when the first astronaut went up, everybody in the country had their TV on and was watching. And when the second astronaut went up, you watched if you were home but you didn’t if you weren’t. And with the third, they had him play golf on the moon for anybody to pay attention. He said that we get tired of things made by man, but we never get tired of a babbling brook, a sunset, or those kinds of things. So next weekend, no matter what’s happening around you, you can always take a walk and look at the beauty of nature, and know that things are all right in that realm and they are free for all of us.
Posted in Change, Happiness, Health, Life, Love, Optimism, Passion | 3 Comments »
Lean Into Life
Posted by Ken on August 5, 2009
I was fortunate enough to see Betsy Myers deliver a keynote recently. Betsy said a really interesting thing that I think is worth sharing with you all. She said that some people start from a place of “yes” and the result they get is adventure. Some people start from a place of “no” and the result they attain is safety. She said that there seem to be more naysayers in the world than “yes”-sayers. She has this wonderful concept about leaning into life—you know, really going after your life. She was telling this audience of government workers how, if you’re bored, if you’re not having any fun, if you’re not passionate about what you are doing, then change your job. Find something that brings out the best in you. Find something that makes you passionate about things. I thought that was really good. I love that idea about leaning into life. What are you doing today? Are you passionate? Are you excited about what you’re doing? If you’re not, let’s see if you can find another spot where you can get excited and passionate. Life is a very special occasion and you don’t get a lot out of it if you back off of life. You get a lot if you lean into it. So take care of yourself. Have a great day. And remember, we need all support and encouragement.
Posted in Change, Corporate Governance, Life, Passion, Relationships, Workplace Culture | 5 Comments »
Being the Best You Can Be
Posted by Ken on July 13, 2009
I had a real treat when I recently got to spend some time with Henry Blackaby and his son, Richard. Henry’s been a really important mentor to me. He’s a wonderful theologian and philosopher of life.
One of the things I think is relevant to all of us is when they talked a little bit about revival. A lot of people complain about, you know, “My organization has this problem,” or “My church has this problem,” or “My child has this problem.” They say that revival, or change, really starts with you—that whole thing that Gandhi said, you know, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So if something isn’t going well in your department, the real question is: How can you be different? How can you be a catalyst for change rather than a complainer about what’s not going well? What can you do to change yourself?
A man came to Henry and asked if he would pray that his son would be in better shape and things would be better. He said to the man, “That’s really nice that you’re praying for your son, but I think what your son needs is a better father.” So what you need to do is focus on what you can do to change yourself so that you can help revise or help change somebody else or another organization. I think that’s a wonderful thing, rather than complaining. What are you going to do to change yourself? How can you be a better person, and in the process maybe influence other people that are limiting your department or your family from being their best? Focus on yourself.
I’m constantly looking at how I can be a better person who helps people be the best they can possibly be, and organizations be the best they can be. So as I always say in sessions, don’t wish somebody else was here at this training. Don’t miss it yourself, because there are people who are glad you’re here. I’m glad I’m learning and I hope you are too. I still need a lot of improvement and I’ll bet you do too.
Posted in Change, Communication, Corporate Governance, Health, Leadership, Life, Making Mistakes, Optimism, Relationships, Sustainable Leadership | 2 Comments »
